People are encouraged to get rid of things in order to get newest fashion and the latest Technology.Do the disadvantage of this trend outweigh its advantage.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
These days,
things
Use synonyms
could impact our personality in every aspect of our lives. So some
people
Use synonyms
think that throwing the old
things
Use synonyms
, even sometimes the newest stuff, is a good thing to be updated with the latest fashion.
This
Linking Words
essay will discuss both sides and draw my personal conclusion. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand, new and old stuff has an incredible effect on our money.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there are a lot of markets now publishing new versions of the thing I have,
for instance
Linking Words
, apple firm released a new
phone
Use synonyms
They shut down the old version of the
phone
Use synonyms
you have, and after that, you will have problems with your device they force you to purchase the latest
phone
Use synonyms
they have.
Therefore
Linking Words
it is your turn to learn new skills about hacking
also
Linking Words
information technology. Learning cybersecurity will assist you in protecting and improving your
phone
Use synonyms
against the companies.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Some
people
Use synonyms
would love to have the chance to try new
things
Use synonyms
, and that category will be hunting from the firms,
In other words
Linking Words
, referring back to what I said, waiting for the brand new of everything.
Also
Linking Words
, they like those
people
Use synonyms
because they let them acquire a lot of money they called the Consumers they got more common
while
Linking Words
the market was full of new
things
Use synonyms
undiscovered.
In addition
Linking Words
, I believe these kinds of
things
Use synonyms
are not helping the economy of the country
according to
Linking Words
a renowned economic magazine published that the percentage of
people
Use synonyms
buying new
things
Use synonyms
has
raised
Verb problem
risen
show examples
in the past few years. In conclusion, after a careful analysis of both the advantages and disadvantages, we found that they are almost the same: new or old stuff can be beneficial or harmful for our lives.
Submitted by fnokgamer11 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your task response is quite strong, as you have attempted to address both sides of the argument. However, try to delve a bit deeper into specific advantages and disadvantages. Including more specific examples will help make your arguments more solid and persuasive.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try to better structure your paragraphs. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea, and use linking phrases to connect your points logically. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.
supported main points
To better support your main points, you may want to include more detailed and specific examples and explanations. This will not only help to illustrate your arguments but also make them more convincing.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the points discussed in your essay and provides a balanced viewpoint on the topic, which gives it a comprehensive feel.
task achievement
You have made an effort to address both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of the topic's complexity.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Consumerism
  • Disposability
  • Sustainable fashion
  • Technological advancements
  • Environmental degradation
  • Economic implications
  • Cultural shift
  • Innovative solutions
  • Planned obsolescence
  • Financial burden
What to do next:
Look at other essays: