People are encouraged to get rid of things in order to get newest fashion and the latest Technology.Do the disadvantage of this trend outweigh its advantage.
These days,
things
could impact our personality in every aspect of our lives. So some people
think that throwing the old things
, even sometimes the newest stuff, is a good thing to be updated with the latest fashion. This
essay will discuss both sides and draw my personal conclusion.
On one
hand, new and old stuff has an incredible effect on our money. Correct article usage
the one
Firstly
, there are a lot of markets now publishing new versions of the thing I have, for instance
, apple firm released a new phone
They shut down the old version of the phone
you have, and after that, you will have problems with your device they force you to purchase the latest phone
they have. Therefore
it is your turn to learn new skills about hacking also
information technology. Learning cybersecurity will assist you in protecting and improving your phone
against the companies.
On the other hand
, Some people
would love to have the chance to try new things
, and that category will be hunting from the firms, In other words
, referring back to what I said, waiting for the brand new of everything. Also
, they like those people
because they let them acquire a lot of money they called the Consumers they got more common while
the market was full of new things
undiscovered.
In addition
, I believe these kinds of things
are not helping the economy of the country according to
a renowned economic magazine published that the percentage of people
buying new things
has raised
in the past few years.
In conclusion, after a careful analysis of both the advantages and disadvantages, we found that they are almost the same: new or old stuff can be beneficial or harmful for our lives.Verb problem
risen
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task achievement
Your task response is quite strong, as you have attempted to address both sides of the argument. However, try to delve a bit deeper into specific advantages and disadvantages. Including more specific examples will help make your arguments more solid and persuasive.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try to better structure your paragraphs. Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea, and use linking phrases to connect your points logically. This will enhance the logical flow of your essay.
supported main points
To better support your main points, you may want to include more detailed and specific examples and explanations. This will not only help to illustrate your arguments but also make them more convincing.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the points discussed in your essay and provides a balanced viewpoint on the topic, which gives it a comprehensive feel.
task achievement
You have made an effort to address both sides of the argument, which shows an understanding of the topic's complexity.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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