Same children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case¿ Do you think this is a positive or a negative development¿
There is no denying the fact that the smartphone
consider
Change the verb form
considers
the
important Correct article usage
an
tools
in our Fix the agreement mistake
tool
live
. Replace the word
lives
While
it is a commonly held belief that the positive development for children
who spend hours
every day, there is also
an argument that opposes it. In my opinion, I consider that the disadvantages effect
more than Correct your spelling
affect
Correct article usage
the advantage
advantage
for Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
children
.
To begin
with, there are many reasones
for spending Correct your spelling
reasons
children
many hours
on their smartphones. First,
children
can learn or find different information. In other word
, they can Change the wording
another word
other words
us
different resources Correct your spelling
use
such
as apps or Correct article usage
the internet
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
as well as
they can register for online courses and attend their classes by smartphone. Secondly
, most children
spend hours
every day for fan
. Fix the agreement mistake
fans
For example
, they can play games any where
and time Join the words
anywhere
as well as
they can chat with their friend by using apps.
Another point to consider, smartphones is consider
a perfect role for communicating. It is Change the verb form
is considered
also
possible to say that children
can take with their parents whe
they are out Correct your spelling
when
who
their
home and Change preposition
of their
also
their parents can easily contact with
them.
In Change preposition
apply
conclusion
despite people have Add a comma
conclusion,
difficulty view
, I believe that smartphones have many advantages for Replace the word
difficult viewing
children
however
children
sould
not spend many Correct your spelling
should
could
hours
on its
to protect their eyes Correct pronoun usage
them
health
.Correct word choice
and health
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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples to illustrate your main points. This will make your arguments more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving sentence structure and eliminating grammatical errors. This will enhance clarity and readability.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and provides supporting details for that idea.
coherence cohesion
It would be helpful to use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to make the essay more engaging.
task achievement
The essay covers both sides of the argument, giving a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, which helps frame the essay well.
task achievement
The essay attempts to explain reasons behind the issue, showing an effort to answer the 'why' part of the question.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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