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Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below give information on average life expectancy in four countries, from 1993 to 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below give information on average life expectancy in four countries, from 1993 to 2008. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar graph illustrates the average
life
Use synonyms
expectancy
Use synonyms
 rate of four developed countries between the years 1993 and 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, Indonesia dominated highest among its peers on the basis of an increase in
life
Use synonyms
expectancy
Use synonyms
 based on years from 1993 to 2008.
However
Linking Words
, Japan has a higher
life
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expectancy
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ratio
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.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, Japan has an 82.7 average
life
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expectancy
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 with a soaring
life
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expectancy
Use synonyms
ratio
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 of 5.1 for 15 years.
According to
Linking Words
 the statistics, Korea has an increase of 9.3
life
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expectancy
Use synonyms
ratio
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 within the given time period and has a rate of 79.2 average
life
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expectancy
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. The U.S. appears to be the least surged among the rest on the basis of
life
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expectancy
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 from 1993 to 2008.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it has a 77.2 mean
life
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expectancy
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ratio
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.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, Indonesia improved a lot during the time mentioned with an
overall
Linking Words
 jacked up of 14.1 ratios
whereas
Linking Words
 it held a value of 70.9 average
life
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expectancy
Use synonyms
.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words life, expectancy, ratio with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • life expectancy
  • trends
  • increase/decrease
  • significant
  • improvements
  • economic factors
  • lifestyle changes
  • healthcare
  • average
  • convergence
  • divergence
  • overall trend
  • future patterns
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