There is an increase in the number of parents choosing to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to schools. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

There is a controversial perspective heating up a debate over the fact that the preference of educating
children
at home by their guardians over letting them participate in a traditional classroom setting has heightened
interest
Correct article usage
the interest
show examples
of many people. In my point of view, I would contend that it may do more harm than good. In recent years, the issue of private schooling has gained significant attention since there are some
justificable
Correct your spelling
justifiable
reasons to note that it is a splendid means to
educating
Wrong verb form
educate
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toddlers. Specifically, it is considered
as
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apply
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an
individual-centered
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individual-centred
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teaching method when parents customize their own educational syllabus
initially
.
This
is
due to
the fact that they partially have a deeper understanding
about
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of
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their kids enough that they practically find several suitable subjects related to the strengths of learners. By doing so, a future orientation is easily approached compared to a general curriculum in public schools where pupils need comprehensive improvement to be
an
Correct article usage
apply
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all-rounded
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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.
For instance
, if adolescents have a firm grasp
on
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of
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maths, physics
as well as
chemistry, they literally concentrate on the doctor’s path
instead
of absorbing literature, art or music.
Subsequently
,
this
thought may save an amount of time and effort in reluctant subjects and it
also
raises higher quality of education.
Thus
, it is of the essence to educate
children
at home.
Although
private schooling is valid to some extent, I would side with the idea that the public ones should be prioritized. Particularly,
this
can be seen in the way that homeschooled
children
miss out on a wide range of redeeming features provided by public schools, especially interactive activities. In terms of intimate friends, learners will suffer from a lack of problem-solving skills which may lead to some inevitable conflicts or even collisions.
For example
, self-isolated thoughts may show up in a homeschooled child
iIf
Correct your spelling
if
they are put in a brand new environment with odd strangers
due to
the fact that they are already familiar
to
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with
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their partners. In doing
this
, a lonely kid practically tends to suffer from a lack of social interaction which turns into a huge obstacle in their later life.
Therefore
, public schools can provide a social environment which positively affects
children
's
behavior
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behaviour
show examples
afterwards. In conclusion, even though private
educating
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education
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has its own merits, it cannot overshadow its counterpart.
Submitted by hominhtrang995 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider structuring the arguments more clearly by devoting specific paragraphs to advantages and disadvantages separately, and then providing a balancing paragraph to show your conclusions.
task achievement
Try to simplify the language slightly for greater clarity. Some complex phrases and vocabulary may obscure your arguments. Aim for precision in your language to ensure your points are easily understood.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task effectively by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of homeschooling, and reaches a clear conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are both present and effective, giving a clear overview of your arguments and summing up your points well.
task achievement
You have used a number of relevant examples to support your points, which adds clarity and depth to your arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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