In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of helth and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

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Many countries suffer

Change preposition

from

show examples

poor

healthe

Correct your spelling

health

education.

This

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can lead to

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

huge

healthe porblems

Correct your spelling

health problems

for the

citezens

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citizens

such

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daibetes

Correct your spelling

diabetes

and obesity. Those

people

Use synonyms

are not aware of how these

healthe

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health

issues can

effect

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affect

show examples

their

lifes

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lives

show examples

Correct your spelling

show examples

nigiteve

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negative

way.

However

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this

Linking Words

essay will discuss the major

caueses

Correct your spelling

causes

and solutions for it. One primary

problem

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is the growth of fast

food

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resturents

Correct your spelling

restaurants

and how

people

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can be

adected

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addicted

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them

show examples

. Fast

food

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can

cuase

Correct your spelling

cause

to many heart problems because it is full of fats and oils which lead to major

vains

Correct your spelling

veins

gains

blook. The second

problem

Use synonyms

is the lack of

workout

Fix the agreement mistake

workouts

show examples

. Exirsiceing is a way to keep the doctor away. It is

importint

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important

to move and

strich

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stretch

the

msules

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muscles

mules

in the body so the body will burn the extra calories and it will stay in

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apply

show examples

perfect shape. Anthore

problem

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is relative

mariges

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. Some

people

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have

genatice

Correct your spelling

genetic

genetics

obesity will

can

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apply

show examples

be provided to

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their children

thier childern

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their children

, but

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because

beacuse

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because

they are married to a relative cousin the issue will

be have

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have

show examples

a high

persange

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personage

to show in

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their

thier

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their

kids.

However

Linking Words

, the perfect

selutions

Correct your spelling

solutions

solution

for these problems are providing

Remove the article

apply

show examples

education about how healthy foods and

its

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their

show examples

benifits

Correct your spelling

benefits

and

make

Wrong verb form

making

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

easy to find and grab.

Anthore

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Another

way to solve the lack of

exirsicing

Correct your spelling

exercising

is to make it

obligtionary

Correct your spelling

obligational

ablutionary

in schools because students are

younge

Correct your spelling

young

and to be raised healthy.

Anyway

Add a comma

Anyway,

show examples

the

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apply

show examples

third

problem

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's solution is the make

relatives

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relatives'

relative's

show examples

Use synonyms

mariges

Correct your spelling

marriages

marines

marriage

not

alowed

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allowed

at all. In conclusion, the

Correct your spelling

primary

primarly

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primary

causes for the

Correct your spelling

increase

increasment

Correct your spelling

increase

Change preposition

show examples

Change preposition

show examples

people

Use synonyms

's wights

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are

show examples

the fast

food

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, lack of

exirsicing

Correct your spelling

exercise

, and

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relatives'

show examples

relative's

Fix the agreement mistake

relatives'

show examples

Use synonyms

Correct your spelling

marriages

mariges

Correct your spelling

marriages

. The

passible

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possible

show examples

solutions for these issues are providing

peaple

Correct your spelling

people

with healthy

food

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education

Replace the word

educating

show examples

people

Use synonyms

about

exircising

Correct your spelling

exercising

, and

forbidien

Correct your spelling

forbidden

relatives

Use synonyms

mariges

Correct your spelling

marriages

marines

marriage

However

Linking Words

, I

surly

Correct your spelling

surely

show examples

recommand

Correct your spelling

recommend

people

Use synonyms

exirsice

Correct your spelling

exercise

more and

repalce

Correct your spelling

replace

fast

food

Use synonyms

with healthy

food

Use synonyms

layan992015Tue Jun 11 2024

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task achievement

Your essay identifies some key problems and offers solutions, which is good. However, the ideas could be more thoroughly developed, providing more specific examples and in-depth explanations. Try to expand on each point to make your arguments stronger.

coherence cohesion

Ensure you thoroughly read through your essay to catch any grammatical or spelling errors. Some parts of your essay were difficult to understand due to these mistakes. Strengthening your grammar and vocabulary would help make your ideas clearer.

coherence cohesion

Your essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps in presenting your ideas logically.

task achievement

You correctly identified multiple causes of the problem and proposed corresponding solutions, which is essential for addressing the essay prompt comprehensively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
69
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

298 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary lifestyle
high-fat, high-sugar, high-calorie foods
obesity
recreational facilities
emotional eating
cultural shift
convenient food options
physical activity levels
mental health issues
fast food

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In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of helth and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

Fully explain your ideas

Some people say that parents have the most important role in a child development. However, others argue that other things like Television or friends have the most significant influence. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

The movement of people from agricultural areas to big cities has caused many problems at both places. What are the reasons of this problem and how can it be solved?

Many people prefer to watch foreign films rather than locally produced films. Why could this be? Should governments give more financial support to local film industries?

Some people argue that the importance of public libraries is decreasing because of the technological development,so allocating national budget on them is a waste of money.To what extent,do you agree with this statement?