In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of helth and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?
Many countries suffer
of
poor Change preposition
from
healthe
education. Correct your spelling
health
This
can lead to a
huge Correct article usage
apply
healthe porblems
for the Correct your spelling
health problems
citezens
, Correct your spelling
citizens
such
as daibetes
and obesity. Those Correct your spelling
diabetes
people
are not aware of how these healthe
issues can Correct your spelling
health
effect
their Correct your spelling
affect
lifes
Correct your spelling
lives
is
a Correct your spelling
in
nigiteve
way. Correct your spelling
negative
However
, this
essay will discuss the major caueses
and solutions for it.
One primary Correct your spelling
causes
problem
is the growth of fast food
resturents
and how Correct your spelling
restaurants
people
can be adected
to Correct your spelling
addicted
it
. Fast Correct pronoun usage
them
food
can cuase
to many heart problems because it is full of fats and oils which lead to major Correct your spelling
cause
vains
blook. The second Correct your spelling
veins
gains
problem
is the lack of workout
. Exirsiceing is a way to keep the doctor away. It is Fix the agreement mistake
workouts
importint
to move and Correct your spelling
important
strich
the Correct your spelling
stretch
msules
in the body so the body will burn the extra calories and it will stay in Correct your spelling
muscles
mules
a
perfect shape. Anthore Correct article usage
apply
problem
is relative mariges
. Some people
have genatice
obesity will Correct your spelling
genetic
genetics
can
be provided to Remove a modal verb
apply
Correct your spelling
their children
thier childern
, but Correct your spelling
their children
Correct your spelling
because
beacuse
they are married to a relative cousin the issue will Correct your spelling
because
be have
a high Change the verb form
have
persange
to show in Correct your spelling
personage
Correct your spelling
their
thier
kids.
Correct your spelling
their
However
, the perfect selutions
for these problems are providing Correct your spelling
solutions
solution
an
education about how healthy foods and Remove the article
apply
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
benifits
and Correct your spelling
benefits
make
Wrong verb form
making
it
easy to find and grab. Correct pronoun usage
them
Anthore
way to solve the lack of Correct your spelling
Another
exirsicing
is to make it Correct your spelling
exercising
obligtionary
in schools because students are Correct your spelling
obligational
ablutionary
younge
and to be raised healthy. Correct your spelling
young
Anyway
the Add a comma
Anyway,
the
third Remove the redundancy
apply
problem
's solution is the make relatives
Change noun form
relatives'
relative's
mariges
not Correct your spelling
marriages
marines
marriage
alowed
at all.
In conclusion, the Correct your spelling
allowed
Correct your spelling
primary
primarly
causes for the Correct your spelling
primary
Correct your spelling
increase
increasment
Correct your spelling
increase
Change preposition
in
of
Change preposition
in
people
's wights is
the fast Change the verb form
are
food
, lack of exirsicing
, and Correct your spelling
exercise
Change noun form
relatives'
relative's
Fix the agreement mistake
relatives'
Correct your spelling
marriages
mariges
. The Correct your spelling
marriages
passible
solutions for these issues are providing Correct your spelling
possible
peaple
with healthy Correct your spelling
people
food
, education
Replace the word
educating
people
about exircising
, and Correct your spelling
exercising
forbidien
relatives Correct your spelling
forbidden
mariges
. Correct your spelling
marriages
marines
marriage
However
, I surly
Correct your spelling
surely
recommand
Correct your spelling
recommend
people
to exirsice
more and Correct your spelling
exercise
repalce
fast Correct your spelling
replace
food
with healthy food
.Submitted by layan992015 on
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task achievement
Your essay identifies some key problems and offers solutions, which is good. However, the ideas could be more thoroughly developed, providing more specific examples and in-depth explanations. Try to expand on each point to make your arguments stronger.
coherence cohesion
Ensure you thoroughly read through your essay to catch any grammatical or spelling errors. Some parts of your essay were difficult to understand due to these mistakes. Strengthening your grammar and vocabulary would help make your ideas clearer.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps in presenting your ideas logically.
task achievement
You correctly identified multiple causes of the problem and proposed corresponding solutions, which is essential for addressing the essay prompt comprehensively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.