In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of helth and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

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Many countries suffer
of
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from

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poor
healthe
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health

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education.
This
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can lead to
a
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apply

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huge
healthe porblems
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health problems

The words healthe porblems seem to be misspelled. Consider replacing them.

for the
citezens
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citizens

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,
such
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as
daibetes
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diabetes

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and obesity. Those
people
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are not aware of how these
healthe
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health

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issues can
effect
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affect

The word effect doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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their
lifes
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lives

It appears that the noun lifes is misspelled. Correct the spelling.

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is
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in

The word is doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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a
nigiteve
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negative

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way.
However
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

essay will discuss the major
caueses
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causes

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and solutions for it.  One primary
problem
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is the growth of fast
food
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resturents
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restaurants

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and how
people
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can be
adected
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addicted

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to
it
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them

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. Fast
food
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can
cuase
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cause

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to many heart problems because it is full of fats and oils which lead to major
vains
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veins
gains

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blook. The second
problem
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is the lack of
workout
Fix the agreement mistake
workouts

It seems that workout may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. Exirsiceing is a way to keep the doctor away. It is
importint
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important

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to move and
strich
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stretch

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the
msules
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muscles
mules

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in the body so the body will burn the extra calories and it will stay in
a
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apply

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perfect shape. Anthore
problem
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is relative
mariges
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. Some
people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have
genatice
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genetic
genetics

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obesity will
can
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apply

The verbs, will and can, are both modal verbs. You cannot use two modal verbs in one clause. Remove one of these verbs.

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be provided to
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their children

The words thier childern seem to be misspelled. Consider replacing them.

thier childern
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their children

The words thier childern seem to be misspelled. Consider replacing them.

, but
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because
beacuse
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because

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they are married to a relative cousin the issue will
be have
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have

It appears that the form of the verb have does not work with be in this sentence.

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a high
persange
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personage

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to show in
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their
thier
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their

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kids.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the perfect
selutions
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solutions
solution

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for these problems are providing
an
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apply

The indefinite article, an, may be redundant when used with the uncountable noun education in your sentence. Consider removing it.

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education about how healthy foods and
its
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their

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benifits
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benefits

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and
make
Wrong verb form
making

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb make. Consider changing it.

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it
Correct pronoun usage
them

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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easy to find and grab.
Anthore
Correct your spelling
Another

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way to solve the lack of
exirsicing
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exercising

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is to make it
obligtionary
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obligational
ablutionary

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in schools because students are
younge
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young

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and to be raised healthy.
Anyway
Add a comma
Anyway,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase Anyway. Consider adding a comma.

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the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply

Oops! It appears that you typed the twice in a row. Consider deleting one of them.

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third
problem
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's solution is the make
relatives
Change noun form
relatives'
relative's

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

show examples
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

mariges
Correct your spelling
marriages
marines
marriage

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not
alowed
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allowed

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at all. In conclusion, the
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primary
primarly
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primary

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causes for the
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increase
increasment
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increase

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Change preposition
in
show examples
of
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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people
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

's wights
is
Change the verb form
are

The singular verb is does not appear to agree with the plural subject causes. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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the fast
food
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, lack of
exirsicing
Correct your spelling
exercise

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, and
Change noun form
relatives'
show examples
relative's
Fix the agreement mistake
relatives'

It seems that relative's may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
Use synonyms
Correct your spelling
marriages
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

mariges
Correct your spelling
marriages

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. The
passible
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possible

The word passible doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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solutions for these issues are providing
peaple
Correct your spelling
people

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with healthy
food
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
education
Replace the word
educating

The word education doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

about
exircising
Correct your spelling
exercising

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, and
forbidien
Correct your spelling
forbidden

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relatives
Use synonyms
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

mariges
Correct your spelling
marriages
marines
marriage

If you don’t want mariges to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I
surly
Correct your spelling
surely

The word surly doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
recommand
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recommend

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people
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to
exirsice
Correct your spelling
exercise

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more and
repalce
Correct your spelling
replace

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fast
food
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

with healthy
food
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.

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task achievement
Your essay identifies some key problems and offers solutions, which is good. However, the ideas could be more thoroughly developed, providing more specific examples and in-depth explanations. Try to expand on each point to make your arguments stronger.
coherence cohesion
Ensure you thoroughly read through your essay to catch any grammatical or spelling errors. Some parts of your essay were difficult to understand due to these mistakes. Strengthening your grammar and vocabulary would help make your ideas clearer.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This helps in presenting your ideas logically.
task achievement
You correctly identified multiple causes of the problem and proposed corresponding solutions, which is essential for addressing the essay prompt comprehensively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • high-fat, high-sugar, high-calorie foods
  • obesity
  • recreational facilities
  • emotional eating
  • cultural shift
  • convenient food options
  • physical activity levels
  • mental health issues
  • fast food
What to do next:
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