In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to educate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?
The preference
of
educating Change preposition
for
children
at home by parents over letting them join in a traditional class setting has seen a sharp growth recently. From my point of view, this
issue may do more harm than good.
Without a shadow of a doubt, private education is an ideal method that brings a myriad of benefits
to the learners, especially that
they can freely customize their own educational syllabus. That might be Correct word choice
since
due to
the fact that when learning alone, children
can choose the
suitable subjects which are related to their own demands for Correct article usage
apply
future
career or their strengths. Add an article
a future
This
thing can not be found in any public education systems
whose curriculum is required to cover all subjects to guarantee Fix the agreement mistake
system
all-rounded
development of pupils. To be more specific, if there is a student who is ambitious to become a neurologist or a pharmacist, he will only need to absorb math, physics, biology or chemistry. By doing so, he can save most of Correct article usage
the all-rounded
time
and effort to highly focus on their required academic majors, which can greatly help him to easily master Correct pronoun usage
his time
in
Change preposition
apply
this
field.
On the other hand
, homeschooled children
can miss out on a wide range of benefits
provided by public school
, especially Fix the agreement mistake
schools
lack
of interactive activities with other people. In terms of teachers, students in public Correct article usage
a lack
school
can have more chances to connect and learn from abundant professionals who are knowledgeable and have been trained to impart insights Fix the agreement mistake
schools
while
those in homeschool are only raised by their parents even some of them do not have any skills
in teaching. Moreover
, as for friends, privately educated children
can not join in teamwork so they will lack problem solving
Add a hyphen
problem-solving
skills
, which can be a demerit for their development. Hence
, homeschooled students may have to face the lack of several skills
which can be an indispensable factor in the future.
In conclusion, although
the redeeming features of homeschooling is
widely acknowledged, their Change the verb form
are
children
miss out on some benefits
such
as professional knowledge or problem-solving skills
when they participate in schools
. Fix the agreement mistake
school
Moreover
, all the benefits
of homeschooling can be the same as its counterpart once parents can show their expectation to teachers to adjust the syllabus more suitable for their kids.Submitted by hominhtrang995 on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay is generally well-structured, and you clearly state your opinion. However, try to balance the paragraphs better. The first paragraph discusses the benefits of homeschooling in great detail, while the second paragraph on the disadvantages could be expanded further.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and a thoughtful conclusion, which is great. Ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. Some transitions between sentences and ideas could be improved for better coherence.
task achievement
You have a complete response to the task and have covered both advantages and disadvantages well. To improve further, provide more in-depth analysis and balance on both sides of the argument.
task achievement
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive. However, explain some points further or provide additional examples to support your arguments.
task achievement
Your examples are relevant, but more specific examples or data would strengthen your essay and make your arguments more compelling.
task achievement
Good job on stating your opinion clearly and supporting it with reasoned arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction is engaging, and your conclusion effectively summarizes your main points.
coherence cohesion
Your essay is logically organized, and each paragraph addresses a specific aspect of the topic.