Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In recent years, numerous people
belive
Wrong verb form
have believed
show examples
that doing
monotone
Add an article
a monotone
the monotone
show examples
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
is more
convinence
Correct your spelling
convenient
. At the same time, there are individuals who
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
various
activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
show examples
to enjoy their lives.
This
essay will discuss both
view
Correct pronoun usage
my view
show examples
and my own opinion. On the one hand, it is undeniable that individuals decided to do their monotone activity all day. There are some reasons that forced them to do
that
Change the determiner
that thing
those things
show examples
things
.
First,
they feel
convenience
Replace the word
convenient
show examples
and confident.
Moreover
, they feel that changing is not necessary because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
they feel completely satisfied with their job, families, and the way they
lives
Change the verb form
live
show examples
and
no
Verb problem
do not
show examples
need something more
improve
Fix the infinitive
to improve
show examples
.
For instance
, people often work at the same company
instead
of looking for the better one or doing
self improvement
Add a hyphen
self-improvement
show examples
due to
the fear
to take
Change preposition
of taking
show examples
a risk and they do not succeed and rather
choosing
Wrong verb form
choose
show examples
to stay in their comfort zone.
On the other hand
, in my point of view, change is always
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
things
Fix the agreement mistake
thing
show examples
. We have to improve ourselves
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
since
this
is
modern
Add an article
a modern
the modern
show examples
era
which
Change preposition
in which
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
technology
keep
Change the verb form
keeps
show examples
improving.
Moreover
Add a comma
Moreover,
show examples
the world never
stop
Change the verb form
stops
show examples
moving and growing.
That is
why, it will
feels
Change the verb form
feel
show examples
bored
Replace the word
boring
show examples
and useless if we cannot grow together as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology did.
Furthermore
, doing various
things
and changing could teach us how to
adopt
Correct your spelling
adapt
show examples
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
new
environment
Fix the agreement mistake
environments
show examples
and difficult situations.
For example
, those people who
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
a lot of
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
show examples
will
easir
Correct your spelling
easier
to grow their
carrier
Correct your spelling
careers
show examples
and bring them a lot of opportunities. In conclusion, I think it
is
Change the verb form
depends
show examples
depends
Add the preposition
depends on
show examples
the
individuals
Fix the agreement mistake
individual
show examples
it self
Correct your spelling
itself
show examples
to
decided
Wrong verb form
decide
show examples
what is the best decision for
themself
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
. whether they will choose the same
things
all day or do
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
.
Aslong
Correct your spelling
As long
as they feel that it is suitable for their lives.
Submitted by patricius.yohanes on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Your essay needs a clearer thesis statement that directly addresses both views and states your opinion more explicitly. It will help set up the framework for the rest of the essay.
task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your points. This will make your arguments more convincing and relevant.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea. The second body paragraph is a bit disjointed and could benefit from a more coherent argument.
coherence cohesion
Work on your transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This will help the essay flow better and improve readability.
coherence cohesion
Proofread for grammatical errors and sentence structure. Improving your grammar will make your essay more polished and easier to understand.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps structure the essay.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both views, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • status quo
  • stagnation
  • routine
  • comfort zone
  • predictability
  • specialization
  • innate
  • personal growth
  • adaptability
  • fast-paced
  • new horizons
  • equilibrium
  • progress
  • dynamic
  • transformation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: