Some people believe that it is important to tell or read stories for their children. Others think that parents don’t gave to do this because there are many sources for children to read like books, comics and websites. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

It is widely believed that
parents
take a pivotal role in storytelling for their
children
,
while
there are still some
think
Correct pronoun usage
who think
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that they do not need to do
this
due to
many reading resources for
children
like
books
, websites and comics. In spite of the advantages of these sources,
this
writer strongly agrees with the form statement to some extent. Admittedly, there are numerous reasons why
children
can read
stories
via comics,
books
and websites
instead
of
parents
. Chief of these is that they can foster their independence and self-directing
skills
. Indeed, reading
independently
Change the adverb
independent
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books
allows them to explore them more clearly
as well as
reading
Wrong verb form
read
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in
Change preposition
at
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their own pace to follow the content, so these
skills
can be encouraged.
Moreover
, allowing kids
reading
Change the verb form
to read
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books
by
Change preposition
on
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their own means that they can have more perspectives and opinions about the content from other online users that might not be available just through parent-led storytelling.
Therefore
, their intellect and critical thinking proficiencies can be improved. Despite
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
of reading solitarily, that of reading
book
Fix the agreement mistake
books
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guided by
parents
is more considerable. Evidently, hearing
stories
told by them can help
children
enhance their listening
skills
and holistic understanding
from
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of
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their views.
Thus
,
children
’s imagination from what
parents
tell and creative thinking can be better.
Furthermore
,
parents
can intervene
the
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in the
show examples
story to make it more suitable for the
children
and align with their families’ beliefs and experiences.
As a result
, they are able to grow properly and
do
Verb problem
are
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not
detrimental
Correct word choice
apply
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affected by
Correct article usage
apply
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the
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apply
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external factors. In conclusion, given the development of independent
skills
and a wide variety of ideas from the
stories
, I do understand why kids can read them from
books
or online sources rather than their families.
However
, reading
stories
along with
parents
can be better because of
enhancement
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the enhancement
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of imaginational ability and
suitable-age
Correct your spelling
suitable
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ones.

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task response
Your essay adequately addresses the question by discussing both views and providing your opinion. However, ensure you clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion for better clarity.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is generally coherent, and ideas are logically organized. However, improving the clarity of sentences and reducing complex structures can enhance readability.
task response
You provide main points and supporting ideas but incorporating more specific examples and detailed explanations can strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Using appropriate linking words and phrases can help achieve better flow.
coherence and cohesion
Addressing language use can improve clarity. Focus on selecting precise words and structuring sentences more straightforwardly to avoid confusion.
task response
You presented a balanced discussion by considering both viewpoints, which demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your essay, with clear paragraphs for each point, helps in maintaining a logical flow.
coherence and cohesion
Using some complex sentences effectively shows a good grasp of grammatical structures.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • foster emotional bonds
  • holistic understanding
  • imagination and creative thinking
  • impart morals and values
  • self-directed learning
  • educational websites
  • interactive apps
  • multimedia experiences
  • diverse array of perspectives
  • parent-led storytelling
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