As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
With the rise of the
Use synonyms
internet
Change noun form
internet's
show examples
popularity, newspapers
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
become out of date. I strongly agree with
this
Linking Words
statement
due to
Linking Words
the fact that almost everything that people want to know
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
on the net.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, with the
emerging
Replace the word
emergence
show examples
of new technology, web
network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
show examples
can be accessed from anywhere with their mobile phone, allowing unlimited possibility to access huge
number
Fix the agreement mistake
numbers
show examples
of
information
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
habit
Add an article
the habit
a habit
show examples
of searching
Use synonyms
information
Change preposition
for information
show examples
through the newspaper is being shifted to the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
,
this
Linking Words
is
because
Add the preposition
because of
show examples
the convenience that they offer. Almost
every
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
information
Use synonyms
that
essentials
Fix the agreement mistake
essential
show examples
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
already on the websites.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, by surfing through the web people will not only obtain
information
Use synonyms
, but they can
also
Linking Words
make money from it. The web network offered a limitless number of possibilities.
For instance
Linking Words
, by using the
internet
Use synonyms
many workers can work remotely, acquiring better
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
by working for foreign
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, the continuous evolution of technology has
allow
Change the verb form
allowed
show examples
everyone to access the net from their palm with the help of their mobile phone.
This
Linking Words
phenomena
Change the determiner
phenomenon
show examples
is a massive thing,
because
Correct word choice
and because
show examples
of it people nowadays can
keeping
Wrong verb form
keep
show examples
up
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
the newest
information
Use synonyms
in
second
Correct article usage
a second
show examples
. If the
internet
Use synonyms
is used wisely, it can bring the greater good
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the human
races
Fix the agreement mistake
race
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, it can be used to spread
numerous
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
positivity to the entire
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
world. One clear example is
organization
Fix the agreement mistake
organizations
show examples
such
Linking Words
as WWF and UN can use it for their campaign, spreading the news around the globe. In conclusion, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past because
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
emergence of the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
is true
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.
This
Linking Words
is happening because technology keeps renewing itself, allowing humans to have more convenience.
Submitted by nputera.ramadhani on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay would benefit from a clearer structure. Consider creating distinct paragraphs for each main point to enhance the logical flow.
task achievement
Ensure that each main point is thoroughly supported with specific examples or detailed explanations to strengthen your argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
Pay attention to grammar, especially subject-verb agreement and tense consistency, to improve the clarity of your ideas.
relevant specific examples
Include more specific examples to illustrate your points. This will make your arguments more convincing.
task achievement
You have presented a clear position and maintained it throughout the essay, which is good for task achievement.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are clear and present, which is a positive aspect of your essay's structure.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Access
  • Convenient
  • Fast
  • Expensive
  • Wider range
  • News sources
  • Perspectives
  • Readership
  • Demographics
  • Physical
  • Tangible
  • Reading experience
What to do next:
Look at other essays: