Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
Part of the community says
sports
should be fun and everyone has their own right to do an activity
they like the most even if it will risk their own safety. Meanwhile, others think that dangerous sports
should be banned by governments
. This
essay will provide both points of view regarding those statements.
Firstly
, people nowadays are overwhelmed by their never-ending work. In reality, they are craving for work-life balance. Therefore
, sometimes they need to refresh their mind by doing a particular hobby, for instance
sport. Many kinds of sports
have developed these days because people are more aware of their health. But in some cases, they are too curious about trying a new activity
without doing any research before. For example
, the folks like to climb a mountain. Unfortunately, the volcano is still active and will danger those who climb it. Of course, nobody wants to be trapped there.
As a consequence
, the authority needs to make a policy to limit outdoor activity
since there will be some possible bad effects of it. If governments
do not eliminate dangerous sports
, some are worried about the victims that might occur. Besides
, governments
must provide some alternative sports
which are less worrying for those who like to climb. They can build indoor wall climbing, for instance
. This
will not decrease the fun they have created.
In conclusion, banning dangerous activity
is a good option because people's safety should be the first priority. The governments
also
need to provide some other exciting sports
as replacements.Submitted by srsdy008 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance your essay, work on integrating more varied and complex sentence structures to improve coherence. Consider using conjunctions, transitional phrases, and a mix of complex and compound sentences to link ideas more smoothly.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This will not only enrich the content but also demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic and improve the task response score.
Task Achievement
Clarify and elaborate on your own opinion in the conclusion to make it more distinct. While you've provided a stance, expanding on your reasoning will strengthen your argument and task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Intensify your position by directly addressing the counter-viewpoint in the discussion. Acknowledge the opposing view more clearly and provide reasons why your stance holds more weight, improving task achievement and coherence.
Your opinion
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If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?