Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion
Part of the community says
sports
should be fun and everyone has their own right to do an Use synonyms
activity
they like the most even if it will risk their own safety. Meanwhile, others think that dangerous Use synonyms
sports
should be banned by Use synonyms
governments
. Use synonyms
This
essay will provide both points of view regarding those statements.
Linking Words
Firstly
, people nowadays are overwhelmed by their never-ending work. In reality, they are craving for work-life balance. Linking Words
Therefore
, sometimes they need to refresh their mind by doing a particular hobby, Linking Words
for instance
sport. Many kinds of Linking Words
sports
have developed these days because people are more aware of their health. But in some cases, they are too curious about trying a new Use synonyms
activity
without doing any research before. Use synonyms
For example
, the folks like to climb a mountain. Unfortunately, the volcano is still active and will danger those who climb it. Of course, nobody wants to be trapped there.
Linking Words
As a consequence
, the authority needs to make a policy to limit outdoor Linking Words
activity
since there will be some possible bad effects of it. If Use synonyms
governments
do not eliminate dangerous Use synonyms
sports
, some are worried about the victims that might occur. Use synonyms
Besides
, Linking Words
governments
must provide some alternative Use synonyms
sports
which are less worrying for those who like to climb. They can build indoor wall climbing, Use synonyms
for instance
. Linking Words
This
will not decrease the fun they have created.
In conclusion, banning dangerous Linking Words
activity
is a good option because people's safety should be the first priority. The Use synonyms
governments
Use synonyms
also
need to provide some other exciting Linking Words
sports
as replacements.Use synonyms
Submitted by srsdy008 on
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Coherence and Cohesion
To enhance your essay, work on integrating more varied and complex sentence structures to improve coherence. Consider using conjunctions, transitional phrases, and a mix of complex and compound sentences to link ideas more smoothly.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This will not only enrich the content but also demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic and improve the task response score.
Task Achievement
Clarify and elaborate on your own opinion in the conclusion to make it more distinct. While you've provided a stance, expanding on your reasoning will strengthen your argument and task achievement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Intensify your position by directly addressing the counter-viewpoint in the discussion. Acknowledge the opposing view more clearly and provide reasons why your stance holds more weight, improving task achievement and coherence.
Your opinion
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