Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #governments #ban #sports #freedom #activity

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Part of the community says

sports

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should be fun and everyone has their own right to do an

activity

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they like the most even if it will risk their own safety. Meanwhile, others think that dangerous

sports

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should be banned by

governments

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This

Linking Words

essay will provide both points of view regarding those statements.

Firstly

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, people nowadays are overwhelmed by their never-ending work. In reality, they are craving for work-life balance.

Therefore

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, sometimes they need to refresh their mind by doing a particular hobby,

for instance

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sport. Many kinds of

sports

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have developed these days because people are more aware of their health. But in some cases, they are too curious about trying a new

activity

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without doing any research before.

For example

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, the folks like to climb a mountain. Unfortunately, the volcano is still active and will danger those who climb it. Of course, nobody wants to be trapped there.

As a consequence

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, the authority needs to make a policy to limit outdoor

activity

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since there will be some possible bad effects of it. If

governments

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do not eliminate dangerous

sports

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, some are worried about the victims that might occur.

Besides

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governments

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must provide some alternative

sports

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which are less worrying for those who like to climb. They can build indoor wall climbing,

for instance

Linking Words

This

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will not decrease the fun they have created. In conclusion, banning dangerous

activity

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is a good option because people's safety should be the first priority. The

governments

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also

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need to provide some other exciting

sports

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as replacements.

Submitted by srsdy008 on Tue Mar 12 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

To enhance your essay, work on integrating more varied and complex sentence structures to improve coherence. Consider using conjunctions, transitional phrases, and a mix of complex and compound sentences to link ideas more smoothly.

Task Achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. This will not only enrich the content but also demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic and improve the task response score.

Task Achievement

Clarify and elaborate on your own opinion in the conclusion to make it more distinct. While you've provided a stance, expanding on your reasoning will strengthen your argument and task achievement.

Coherence and Cohesion

Intensify your position by directly addressing the counter-viewpoint in the discussion. Acknowledge the opposing view more clearly and provide reasons why your stance holds more weight, improving task achievement and coherence.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

253 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

severe injuries
fatalities
base jumping
bull running
extreme skiing
safeguard
well-being
regulating
avoidable harm
healthcare costs
burdening
personal freedom
autonomy
training
equipment
mitigated
personal satisfaction
mental health benefits
resilience
adventure
assess risks
public safety
unnecessary healthcare costs
outright bans
balanced approach
stringent safety standards
mandatory training sessions
adequately informed
safeguarding
public health

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Some people think that governments should ban dangerous sports, while others think people should have freedom to do any sports or activity. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

Your opinion

More developing countries are being given aid by international organizations to help them in their development plans. Some people argue that financial aid is important but others suggest that practical aid and advice are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people advocate death penalty for those who committed violent crimes. Others say that capital punishment is unacceptable in contemporary society. Describe advantages and disadvantages of death penalty.

The process gives information about how carbonated water is made.

Learning English at school is often seen as more important than learning local language. If these are not taught many are at risk of dying out. In your opinion, is it important for everyone to learn English? Should we try to ensure the survival of local languages and, if so, how?

The only way to reduce the amount of traffic in cities is by reducing the need for people to travel from home to work , shopping and education.To what extent do you agree or disagree?Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge

More developing countries are being given aid by international organizations to help them in their development plans. Some people argue that financial aid is important but others suggest that practical aid and advice are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.