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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that it is better to educate boys and girls in separate schools. Others, however, think that boys and girls benefit more from attending mixed schools. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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Nowadays, some humans prefer their
children
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 to be educated in
gender isolated
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gender-isolated
show examples
schools
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. Others hold the view that there are many advantages to mixed-gender
education
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. In my opinion, I firmly believe that the benefit of the mixed
schools
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 is more than the separate
schools
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. First of all, many individuals think learning in mixed
education
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 may be distractive to pupils. They are concerned their
children
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 may have feelings for the opposite sex
thus
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 their grades may get worse.
In addition
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, adolescents have higher emotions and manners.
While
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 they think
this
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 desire, cannot focusing their responsibilities.
For example
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, they refuse to work on their studies, and they exhibit irritable behaviours.
As a result
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, parents cannot handle
this
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 situation, and they hold the view that separate
education
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 is better than mixed.
On the other hand
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, many moms and dads believe that attending co-educational classes is more beneficial for youngsters.
This
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 environment provides how to behave towards the opposite gender, developing the social skills of the juniors. Over time, they will understand each other better and be ready for modern society.
For example
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, most workplaces are mixed-gender and
this
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 will not be a problem for an individual preparing for
this
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 situation.
For
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this
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 reason,
children
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 should attend mixed
education
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, as it helps them learn essential social life. All in all, when everything is taken into consideration,
although
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 some people hold the view that there are many advantages, I completely believe that the drawbacks are more than the benefits of separate
schools
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.
Therefore
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,
children
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 should have a better civil life so as to avoid difficulties in the coming years.

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task achievement
Your essay does a good job of addressing both views and providing a clear opinion. However, providing more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments could strengthen your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
Try to maintain a clear and logical structure throughout your essay. Although you have good coherence, sometimes the wording can be slightly confusing. Simplifying sentences where possible would enhance readability.
introduction conclusion
You have a strong introduction and conclusion, nicely framing your argument.
logical structure
The main points in your essay are generally well-supported and logically flow from one to the next.
clear comprehensive ideas
Your ideas are clear and comprehensive, making it easy to understand your stance on the issue.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • co-education
  • gender segregation
  • peer pressure
  • academic performance
  • gender stereotypes
  • discrimination
  • social skills
  • teamwork
  • collaboration
  • diversity
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