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Writing Samples
Band 8

Although there is a lot of translation software available, learning a language could still be advantageous. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#translation #software #language
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Over the past decade, there has been a common belief that despite the widespread availability of translation applications, it is still beneficial for individuals to learn a new
language
 apart from their own. The writer, in light of
this
, is entirely convinced by
this
 school of thought since these software cannot translate perfectly and people can apply for many global corporations by learning these
languages
.
To begin
 with, it is crucial to acknowledge that these applications are unable to fully translate a whole
language
 into another one.
This
 is because there are some national cultural aspects, specifically some vocabulary and grammar in each
language
 that require a profound understanding from learners to fully comprehend and cannot be translated easily by some means of artificial technology.
Furthermore
, it must recognized that
this
 software cannot be as reliable as human abilities,
thus
 cannot translate contextually and leading to misinformation or conflicts among learners.
For instance
, the word "dilemma" in English can be explained in Vietnamese by an academic word that over ninety per cent of citizens have not heard before,
however
, it can easily understood by difficulties or obstacles.
Additionally
, personal abilities to communicate with foreigners in real-life circumstances must be considered. Conventionally, in order to raise their level of income, employees will try to translate a form using these applications into English to apply for multi-national companies.
Subsequently
, having been accepted, they will struggle with communicating with their colleagues as they cannot speak well in these new
languages
, become isolated, and suffer from a downturn in personal performance. These individuals,
instead
, should have mastered these
languages
 before so as to collaborate well and integrate into their workplace. In conclusion, even though translation software is widely available on the Internet, mastering another
language
 is highly vital for people to completely understand other
languages
 and acquire international career prospects. It is,
moreover
, apparent that the more
languages
 individuals can communicate well, the higher the level of income they are likely to raise.
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vocabulary
Ensure vocabulary is sufficiently advanced to convey nuanced meaning. Words like 'profound understanding' and 'national cultural aspects' should be clarified and better explained.
cohesion
Try to balance your paragraphs more evenly. The second paragraph is more detailed compared to the first one, which can cause coherence issues.
structure
Your essay structure is very solid. The introduction sets up your points clearly, and the conclusion effectively summarizes them.
content
Your arguments are well-presented and logical. The points about the limitations of translation software and the necessity of personal interaction were particularly strong.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cultural Appreciation
  • Cognitive Flexibility
  • Idiomatic Expressions
  • Career Advancement
  • Multilingual
  • Proficiency
  • Empathy
  • Cultural Barriers
  • Native Speaker Fluency
  • Colloquialisms
  • Language Acquisition
  • Immersive Experience
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