Some people think that detailed descriptions of crime scenes in newspapers and on TV can have a bad influence on the public, so this kind of information should be restricted in the media. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In recent years, it has been commonly believed that describing details about crime scenes on social platforms causes a detrimental effect on society,
therefore
,
this
information should be limited. The writer is convinced by
this
assumption
due to
the negative impact on the psychology of
citizens
and inappropriate for young generations.
Initially
, it is crucial to understand that criminal descriptions contain many cruel and immoral behaviours. To a certain extent, if residents are exposed to excessive information about crimes, they will become obsessed with violence, causing numerous effects of trauma and stress on the body.
For
this
reason,
citizens
gradually lose their belief in human communities and always try to avoid meeting strange people, leading to a reduction in the social cycle.
However
, on condition that there is more news about criminals,
citizens
will know more about their behaviours and actions so as to ensure their safety for themselves.
Additionally
, descriptions of criminals may affect negatively children’s attitudes. To be more specific, some children have been taught about ethical values,
thus
, they just imitate immoral activities on social media without consideration. Indeed, the youth cannot control their impulses in their formative years, leading to even committing an offence.
As a consequence
, should children watch many crime scenes,
this
can increase the criminal rate in society, resulting in the safety of
citizens
under threat. In conclusion, cruel behaviours should be restricted on social media because of social trauma and unsuitable for children to understand these actions.
Hence
, the government may impose strict regulations to limit the appearance of immoral attitudes on the Internet.
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task achievement
Try to use more specific examples to illustrate your points. For instance, you could mention particular cases where media coverage of crime has led to public fear or changes in behavior.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring that each paragraph has a single clear main idea that is elaborated on. Some of your paragraphs contain multiple ideas that could be developed further if they were split into separate paragraphs.
general
Pay attention to sentence structure and grammar to enhance clarity. Consider using a wider range of vocabulary to avoid repetition and make your essay more engaging.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear position on the topic, and you provide reasons to support your viewpoint. This helps to address the task effectively.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are well-formed and provide a solid framework for your argument.
general
You have a logical progression of ideas which makes your argument easy to follow.

Your opinion

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