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Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think that it will be one of the best ways to solve the environment problems to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

#people #environment #cost #fuel #cars #vehicles
It is considered that increasing the price of fuel will be one of the best possible methods to tackle environmental issues
while
 others think there are several effective ways. In
this
 essay, I would agree with the latter and give the main reasons to explain it.
To begin
 with, raising the cost of fuel, the movement to the offices or schools of humans becomes more challenging. To be more specific, in order to manage the expenditure, people prefer using public transport
such
 as buses or trains
instead
 of driving their own vehicles.
However
, the public systems in some developing countries namely Vietnam are not as developed as the other countries, leading to various inconveniences
such
 as being crowded or not having a suitable schedule for their work. All of these issues could affect the emotions of the employers in a negative way, resulting in a decline in working quality.
As a result
,
this
 method can lead to the loss of finance or other severe outcomes.
Besides
, replacing disposal items with recycled products is much more possible because of its accessibility and practicality. To clarify
this
 point, individuals should have the responsibility to protect their habitats from negative outcomes
such
 as air pollution or water pollution, ensuring essential conditions for human life.
Moreover
, there would be more than eight billion residents in the world and if they collaborate to take action together, environmental problems would be solved in the most effective way.
For example
, during COVID-19, the frequency of eating out of humans decreased so the demand for disposal items
also
 went up significantly, resulting in a positive transformation in the globe.
Consequently
, with the connection of humans, regardless of age group or gender, the world would be greener and fresher, receiving signals about a better future.
To conclude
, there are several ways to tackle environmental issues,
however
, changing the habit of using plastic products is more suitable
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 almost all countries over the world.
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coherence cohesion
While you have presented a clear stance and provided relevant arguments, ensure that each paragraph maintains a clear focus. Avoid mixing multiple ideas in one paragraph as it can affect clarity.
coherence cohesion
You can further improve by ensuring seamless transitions between ideas and paragraphs. This helps in maintaining the flow of the essay and enhances coherence.
task achievement
Expand on the examples provided to illustrate your points more vividly. This will make your arguments stronger and more convincing.
task achievement
Ensure that your ideas are fully developed and comprehensive. Sometimes, your points feel slightly rushed or not entirely fleshed out.
coherence cohesion
You have a clearly defined introduction and conclusion, which helps in setting the context and summarizing your stance effectively.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task prompt effectively by considering both sides of the argument and then taking a clear position.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • carbon emissions
  • public transport
  • fuel-efficient
  • electric vehicles
  • renewable energy
  • green technologies
  • disproportionately affect
  • commuting
  • infrastructure development
  • cycling and walking
  • deforestation
  • industrial pollution
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