Organized tour to remote areas and community is increasingly popular. Is it a positive or negative development for the local people and the environment?

It is true that tours to remote and exotic places on the earth have gained popularity in recent years.
While
this
has several benefits for the local community, I believe that
overall
the negative consequences are more significant. Admittedly, the growth of the
tourism
industry has brought enormous benefits to local
people
. More tourists mean greater demand for food, accommodation and services, all of which create job opportunities and help to alleviate unemployment in the area. The development of
tourism
also
has ripple effects on local infrastructure, with more roads and bridges being built to meet the
need
Fix the agreement mistake
needs
show examples
of the tourists.
This
can be seen in the case of ABC, a coastal city and
also
a tourist destination in Mongolia. The biggest disadvantage of the trend is,
however
, its adverse effects on the pristine environment and the creatures living there. Forests may be cut down to make way for resorts and hotels; marine life might be threatened
due to
water pollution, and birds have to find other places to inhabit. In some places, waste from the hotel industry is becoming an environmental problem that concerns many
people
, not just environmentalists. Another drawback is that increased
tourism
may break social cohesion in the local community. Many
people
make a living by providing services for travellers and become rich
while
many others remain poor and struggle for the next meal.
This
wealth gap is gradually widening and has detrimental impacts on the bond and the shared values of
indigenous
Capitalize word
Indigenous
show examples
individuals. In conclusion,
although
the growth of
tourism
to remote areas and exotic countries is beneficial to some extent, it is more likely to have harmful impacts on local
people
and the environment
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task achievement
Develop the main points with more specific examples or supporting details. For instance, when discussing environmental issues, specific case studies or statistical data could add more weight to your argument.
coherence cohesion
Try to enhance clarity and comprehensibility by using more transitional phrases or linking words. This will help in making the connections between your ideas smoother.
task achievement
Provide a more balanced view by considering counterarguments more thoroughly and addressing potential objections to your point of view.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which makes it easy to follow.
task achievement
The writer addresses both positive and negative aspects of the topic, which shows an attempt to provide a balanced argument.
coherence cohesion
The language used is appropriate and mostly free of grammatical errors, which makes the essay readable and understandable.

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    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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