IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people say that when deciding how taxes should be spent, governments should prioritise health care. Other people believe that there are more important priorities for taxpayers' money. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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Most of the
countries
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 they are running the government rely based on the taxes they get. Some citizens argue that regarding taxes the government should take major concern about
health
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care
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while
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 others say that other imperative components should be done with the tax money. In
this
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 essay, I will discuss both views in detail and give my opinion. On the one hand, some
people
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 think that taxes should be allocated mainly
for
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to
show examples
health
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care
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 facilities, why they are saying that mainly since the life of human beings is most crucial, when
people
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 are not healthier that would affect the whole
country
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.
In other words
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, for taxpayers who can be a citizen of every
country
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, if
health
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 services are poor,
people
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 are likely to be falling sick easily,
while
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 they are facing
such
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 things,
consequently
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, they are affected by economic issues,
as a result
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, tax-paying amounts
also
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 reduce.
For instance
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, during the coronavirus pandemic, many workers lost their jobs,
whereas
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 a lot of number of governments struggled to manage
countries
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' economies
due to
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 the declining tax amount.
On the other hand
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, others claim that beyond
health
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care
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, there are gigantic various issues that should concern the government. One
such
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 crucial priority is transportation, which plays a vital role in the
country
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's economic growth. When transportation facilities are poor that will be vulnerable for all citizens.
For example
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,
last
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 year my
country
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 Sri Lanka had a detrimental effect of a fuel shortage that occurred, when that happened all the sectors were stuck and our economy was exacerbately affected.
Moreover
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, education is
also
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 a significant factor in the
country
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, which should be developed for the sake of future generations.
To conclude
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, I believe that even though other categories are imperative for
countries
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' economies,
health
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care
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 is the most crucial part since that directly impacts
people
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's lives and
countries
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' economies.

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task achievement
The essay does a good job of discussing both views on how taxes should be allocated, and provides a clear opinion in the conclusion.
task achievement
Relevant examples, such as the impact of the coronavirus pandemic and the fuel shortage in Sri Lanka, are used to support the main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a strong introduction and conclusion, which help in framing the discussion and reinforcing the main argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Fundamental need
  • 2. Economic growth and development
  • 3. Workforce productivity
  • 4. Preventive health care
  • 5. Cost-effective
  • 6. Long-term outcomes
  • 7. Health disparities
  • 8. Social equity
  • 9. Socioeconomic status
  • 10. Vulnerable populations
  • 11. Infrastructure
  • 12. Quality of life
  • 13. Knowledgeable workforce
  • 14. Economic propellers
  • 15. Balanced approach
  • 16. Diverse allocation
  • 17. Societal development
  • 18. Robust economic performance
  • 19. Public funds
  • 20. Health system burden
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