IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the average gross in domestic products in the wealthy countries, countries that have adopted a global approach to business and countries that have not.

Error loading image :(
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart compares information about the medium increase in domestic manufacturers in high-status areas that have acquired companies and the states that have not and it was a general attitude.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, average annual gross domestic product growth in wealthy countries was higher than in globalised and non-globalised,
nevertheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, not all of the time. The highest proportion of the trend was in developing countries
at the end
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 of the duration. As the chart reveals data on rich states in the 1960s, there was
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
significant growth, which reached a peak of about 4.7%. In the 1970s, the yearly average
of
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
reduced dramatically
Change preposition
to
show examples
at
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
 approximately 2.9%.
Subsequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, its production dropped to nearly 2.2% and
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 producing domestic resources fell to exactly 2%. Regarding the figure
Change preposition
for
show examples
of
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
 developed states in the 1960s, there was a dramatic fall to above 1%. Afterwards, it went up gradually to over 2.5% in the 1970s. Between the 1980s and 1990s, there was only a rapid rise and they were at about 3.4% and 4.9% , respectively. In terms of non-globalizers, at the beginning of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 time, the manufacturing domestic product was under 2%.
Thereafter
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, it increased slightly to over 3%.
Nonetheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in the 1980s, production of it
was
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb was appears to be unnecessary here.

show examples
declined considerably to under 1%.
At the end
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 duration, there was a slow growth at approximately 1.4.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "at the end".
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "fell" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "dramatically" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: