Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some
individuals
contained
Verb problem
believe
show examples
that learning at
college
or
university
is the shortest way to a successful life,
while
others believe that getting a
job
immediately after school is better.
This
writer agrees with the first statement
due to
high
work
opportunities and
high salary
Add a hyphen
high-salary
show examples
jobs despite the drawbacks of
work
experience
. It must be acknowledged that studying
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
university
can increase
job
opportunities, especially
high salary
Add a hyphen
high-salary
show examples
employment. To be specific, recruiters tend to find someone with specialized
knowledge
and degrees because they believe that these learners can improve their company and create smart strategies using their
knowledge
.
As a result
,
individuals
who have degrees will have
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
chance to enroll in famous companies. Some people think that applying for a
job
immediately after high school can be beneficial because they have
work
experience
.
This
might be true, but
college
Fix the agreement mistake
colleges
show examples
and
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
can
also
provide
job
simulations and teach them their
knowledge
on that career. Back Khoa
university
Capitalize word
University
show examples
is an outstanding example
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
this
, not only
teach
Correct subject-verb agreement
teaches
show examples
theories and
knowledge
but
also
go
Correct subject-verb agreement
goes
show examples
to
actual
Add an article
the actual
show examples
workplace to
work
for weeks;
thus
, teenagers can experiment
how
Change preposition
with how
show examples
it feels to
work
.
Consequently
, the
experience
combine
Change the form of the verb
combined
show examples
with previous
knowledge
will definitely surpass people who do not
go
Verb problem
apply
show examples
graduate.
This
writer believes that with a
university
degree,
individuals
can have well-paid jobs. Most of the famous and well-known companies have very strict
requirement
Fix the agreement mistake
requirements
show examples
and graduating from
college
or
university
is
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
that list, there are not many
individuals
who can apply to those companies unless they are gifted.
Hence
, gradated citizens will
more
Add a missing verb
be more
show examples
likely to have good
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
those who
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
not. In conclusion, well-paid jobs and
work
opportunities outweigh the
disadvantage
Fix the agreement mistake
disadvantages
show examples
of
work
experience
.
Therefore
,
university
and
college
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
the best way to a successful career.
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general
Try to ensure grammatical accuracy and avoid small errors in sentence structure and word choice, which can sometimes make your ideas less clear or harder to read.
coherence cohesion
To enhance your coherence and cohesion, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to smoothly tie your ideas together.
task achievement
While your main points are well-supported, providing a few more specific, real-world examples could strengthen your argument even further.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing your argument within the discussion prompt.
task achievement
You provided a balanced discussion, successfully addressing both views before presenting your own opinion, which is very commendable.
coherence cohesion
Your ideas are clear and logically presented, which makes your argument persuasive and easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Academic qualifications
  • Specialized skills
  • In-depth knowledge
  • Personal growth
  • Social development
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • Career progression
  • Professional networking
  • Education
  • Work experience
  • Successful career
  • Personal interests
  • Career goals
  • Decision-making process
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