Being a celebrity- such as a famous film star or sports personality-brings problems as well as benefits. Do you think that being a celebrity brings more benefits or more problems?
Many
people
hold the views
that famous Fix the agreement mistake
view
people
in the fields of cinema and sports can bring them to
Change preposition
apply
advantages
and drawbacks. Although
they can have a lot of money from this
fields, Correct determiner usage
these
those
life can be affected by the public and media. Even though there are still Change the word
their
advantages
to this
trend, i
think it has more drawbacks overweight Change the capitalization
I
advantages
On the one hand, it can be understandable that
why many Correct word choice
apply
people
want to be celebrities. They can have more attention from their supporters , leading to have
high earnings from contracts, Unnecessary verb
apply
sponorships
and brand partnerships, leading to a luxurious Correct your spelling
sponsorships
sponsorship
life style
. Correct your spelling
lifestyle
For example
, Son Tung is the most popular footballer in VietNam, who has plenty of fan
around the world, he becomes Fix the agreement mistake
fans
the
rich person from the performance in his Correct article usage
apply
clup
and advertising companies products.
Correct your spelling
club
However
, there are some drawbacks of
privacy issues. They are observed by social media Change preposition
to
platform
about their daily routine. They are not perfect so they can have mistakes Fix the agreement mistake
platforms
revelant
to their life. If communities criticize those about their mistakes, they can be stressful and have a sense of invasion, causing Correct your spelling
relevant
divese
effects Correct your spelling
severe
such
as depression and even dead
. Replace the word
death
For instance
, some famous peoples in korea
Change the capitalization
Korea
was
Change the verb form
were
depression
Replace the word
depressed
from
Change preposition
by
critical
Add an article
the critical
a critical
comment
of Fix the agreement mistake
comments
community
. Correct article usage
the community
Additonally
, they can hard to make friendships with somebody. Correct your spelling
Additionally
Desoite
being surrounded by Correct your spelling
Despite
people
celebrities can often feel isolated, honest
friendships can be hard to form Correct word choice
and honest
due to
trust issues and the fear of being exploited.
In conclusion, from all the reasons mentioned above, it seem
that being Change the verb form
seems
superstar
Correct article usage
a superstar
was
more negative effects than Verb problem
has
advantages
Submitted by Nghỉ hè vui vẻ cả nhà on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Focus on structuring the essay more clearly. Use paragraphs effectively to separate different points.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that your introduction presents your main argument clearly. Your conclusion should summarize the main points effectively.
task achievement
Add more relevant examples to support your points. This will help to illustrate your arguments more clearly.
task achievement
Work on improving grammatical accuracy and vocabulary range to express ideas more precisely.
task achievement
Your essay covers both advantages and disadvantages, providing a balanced view.
supported main points
You have included examples to support your arguments, which adds strength to your points.
introduction conclusion present
You have a clear conclusion that reinforces your main argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.