More students from developing countries move to developed ones to study in University. What are the causes of this and the consequences of such a tendency?
Over the years many learners have been moving from their
third
Add a hyphen
third-world
world
countries
to first
Add a hyphen
first-world
world
countries
in search for
better education opportunities. In Change preposition
of
this
essay, I will discuss the reasons as well as
the problems caused by this
migration.
There are many reasons for the migration of students
from developing countries
to developed ones to study in Universities. Firstly
, it is for the quest of better education facilities that match the world class
. Universities in developing Add a hyphen
world-class
countries
lack resources. For instance
, nursing students
in Zimbabwe do not have access to practical experiments because they dont
have equipment and tools to use. Correct your spelling
don't
This
make
it difficult for a student to cope with the real Change the verb form
makes
world
after graduation hence
the decision to look for better schools that offer proper education experience. Secondly
, whatever equipment available in the Universities from third
Add a hyphen
third-world
world
countries
are all out dated
. Correct your spelling
outdated
This
means that after graduation these students
will struggle to fit in when they get jobs in firms with advanced equipment. Additionaly
, job opportunities Correct your spelling
Additionally
is
another reason. Jobs are Correct subject-verb agreement
are
scarcy
in developing Correct your spelling
scarce
scarcity
countries
so many people prefer learning abroad where they will easily get a job emmediately
after graduation.
Correct your spelling
immediately
However
, this
migration comes with a number of concequences
, the worst being discrimination. A lot of Correct your spelling
consequences
students
from poor countries
face discrimination from other students
. They look down upon them because they come from poor background
. Another thing is Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
language
barrier, some migrant Add an article
a language
the language
students
find themselves in countires
that speak a different Correct your spelling
countries
language
, even though they learn using universal
Correct article usage
a universal
language
but
their life afre school is Correct word choice
apply
misserable
because they can not easily associate with the majority because of Correct your spelling
miserable
language
. This
may cause lonliness
and a sense of not belonging. Correct your spelling
loneliness
Lastly
, learning abroad is expensive, foreigners are charged more than natives of that country. Some people end up selling all their assets to fund the students
learning abroad.
In conclusion, we realise that learning abroad has so many opportunies
as it prepares Correct your spelling
opportunities
students
to be marketable worldwide. Nonetheless
, even though this
move has its fair share of disavantages
most people still find it worth investing in sending their children to Correct your spelling
disadvantages
first
Add a hyphen
first-world
world
Univesities
.Correct your spelling
Universities
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general
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, make sure to use a wider range of vocabulary and improve grammatical accuracy to make your essay more polished.
task achievement
There are some spelling and grammar errors that need attention. For example: 'scarcy' should be 'scarce', 'countires' should be 'countries', and 'misserable' should be 'miserable'. These errors can detract from the overall readability of your essay.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is well-organized, try to use more advanced linking phrases to make your ideas flow more smoothly from one paragraph to the next. This would improve your overall coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both the causes and consequences of the issue, showing a clear understanding of the task requirement.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets up the topic well, and the conclusion provides a succinct summary and personal insight.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example