More students from developing countries move to developed ones to study in University. What are the causes of this and the consequences of such a tendency?

Over the years many learners have been moving from their
third
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third-world
show examples
world
countries
to
first
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first-world
show examples
world
countries
in search
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
better education opportunities. In
this
essay, I will discuss the reasons
as well as
the problems caused by
this
migration. There are many reasons for the migration of
students
from developing
countries
to developed ones to study in Universities.
Firstly
, it is for the quest of better education facilities that match the
world class
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world-class
show examples
. Universities in developing
countries
lack resources.
For instance
, nursing
students
in Zimbabwe do not have access to practical experiments because they
dont
Correct your spelling
don't
have equipment and tools to use.
This
make
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makes
show examples
it difficult for a student to cope with the real
world
after graduation
hence
the decision to look for better schools that offer proper education experience.
Secondly
, whatever equipment available in the Universities from
third
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third-world
show examples
world
countries
are all
out dated
Correct your spelling
outdated
show examples
.
This
means that after graduation these
students
will struggle to fit in when they get jobs in firms with advanced equipment.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, job opportunities
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
another reason. Jobs are
scarcy
Correct your spelling
scarce
scarcity
in developing
countries
so many people prefer learning abroad where they will easily get a job
emmediately
Correct your spelling
immediately
after graduation.
However
,
this
migration comes with a number of
concequences
Correct your spelling
consequences
, the worst being discrimination. A lot of
students
from poor
countries
face discrimination from other
students
. They look down upon them because they come from poor
background
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backgrounds
show examples
. Another thing is
language
Add an article
a language
the language
show examples
barrier, some migrant
students
find themselves in
countires
Correct your spelling
countries
that speak a different
language
, even though they learn using
universal
Correct article usage
a universal
show examples
language
but
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apply
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their life afre school is
misserable
Correct your spelling
miserable
because they can not easily associate with the majority because of
language
.
This
may cause
lonliness
Correct your spelling
loneliness
and a sense of not belonging.
Lastly
, learning abroad is expensive, foreigners are charged more than natives of that country. Some people end up selling all their assets to fund the
students
learning abroad. In conclusion, we realise that learning abroad has so many
opportunies
Correct your spelling
opportunities
as it prepares
students
to be marketable worldwide.
Nonetheless
, even though
this
move has its fair share of
disavantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
most people still find it worth investing in sending their children to
first
Add a hyphen
first-world
show examples
world
Univesities
Correct your spelling
Universities
.
Submitted by sisalt100 on

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general
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, make sure to use a wider range of vocabulary and improve grammatical accuracy to make your essay more polished.
task achievement
There are some spelling and grammar errors that need attention. For example: 'scarcy' should be 'scarce', 'countires' should be 'countries', and 'misserable' should be 'miserable'. These errors can detract from the overall readability of your essay.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is well-organized, try to use more advanced linking phrases to make your ideas flow more smoothly from one paragraph to the next. This would improve your overall coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both the causes and consequences of the issue, showing a clear understanding of the task requirement.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets up the topic well, and the conclusion provides a succinct summary and personal insight.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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