More students from developing countries move to developed ones to study in University. What are the causes of this and the consequences of such a tendency?

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Over the years many learners have been moving from their
third
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third-world

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world
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countries
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to
first
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first-world

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world
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

countries
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in search
for
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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better education opportunities. In
this
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essay, I will discuss the reasons
as well as
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the problems caused by
this
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migration. There are many reasons for the migration of
students
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

from developing
countries
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

to developed ones to study in Universities.
Firstly
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, it is for the quest of better education facilities that match the
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world class
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world-class

It appears that world class is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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. Universities in developing
countries
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lack resources.
For instance
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, nursing
students
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in Zimbabwe do not have access to practical experiments because they
dont
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don't

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have equipment and tools to use.
This
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

make
Change the verb form
makes

The plural verb make does not appear to agree with the singular subject This. Consider changing the verb form for subject-verb agreement.

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it difficult for a student to cope with the real
world
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

after graduation
hence
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

the decision to look for better schools that offer proper education experience.
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, whatever equipment available in the Universities from
third
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third-world

It seems that third world is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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world
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

countries
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are all
out dated
Correct your spelling
outdated

The word out dated seems to be miswritten. Consider replacing it.

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.
This
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

means that after graduation these
students
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will struggle to fit in when they get jobs in firms with advanced equipment.
Additionaly
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Additionally

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, job opportunities
is
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are

It seems that the verb is does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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another reason. Jobs are
scarcy
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scarce
scarcity

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in developing
countries
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

so many people prefer learning abroad where they will easily get a job
emmediately
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immediately

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after graduation.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

migration comes with a number of
concequences
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consequences

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, the worst being discrimination. A lot of
students
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from poor
countries
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face discrimination from other
students
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. They look down upon them because they come from poor
background
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backgrounds

It seems that background may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. Another thing is
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Use synonyms
language
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a language
the language

The noun phrase language barrier seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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barrier, some migrant
students
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find themselves in
countires
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countries

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that speak a different
language
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, even though they learn using
universal
Correct article usage
a universal

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language
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but
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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their life afre school is
misserable
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miserable

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because they can not easily associate with the majority because of
language
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.
This
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

may cause
lonliness
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loneliness

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and a sense of not belonging.
Lastly
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, learning abroad is expensive, foreigners are charged more than natives of that country. Some people end up selling all their assets to fund the
students
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

learning abroad. In conclusion, we realise that learning abroad has so many
opportunies
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opportunities

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as it prepares
students
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to be marketable worldwide.
Nonetheless
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, even though
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

move has its fair share of
disavantages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages

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most people still find it worth investing in sending their children to
first
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first-world

It seems that first world is missing a hyphen. Consider adding the hyphen(s).

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world
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

Univesities
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Universities

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.

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general
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which is good. However, make sure to use a wider range of vocabulary and improve grammatical accuracy to make your essay more polished.
task achievement
There are some spelling and grammar errors that need attention. For example: 'scarcy' should be 'scarce', 'countires' should be 'countries', and 'misserable' should be 'miserable'. These errors can detract from the overall readability of your essay.
coherence cohesion
While the essay is well-organized, try to use more advanced linking phrases to make your ideas flow more smoothly from one paragraph to the next. This would improve your overall coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both the causes and consequences of the issue, showing a clear understanding of the task requirement.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets up the topic well, and the conclusion provides a succinct summary and personal insight.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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