IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Art classes, such as painting and drawing are as important to a child's development as other subjects so it should bes compulsory in high schools. To what extend do you agree or disagree?

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Attending
art
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 courses,
such
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 as painting and drawing
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is crucial to a child's development and
this
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 subject should be necessary for high schools.
This
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 essay agrees with
this
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 idea because these types of classes improve the soft
skills
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 of students and develop cultural awareness.
To begin
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 with, engaging in
art
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 activities helps in the development of cognitive abilities. It encourages
children
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 to think critically. They learn how to make decisions and solve problems creatively by taking painting and drawing courses. These
skills
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 are not only important for artistic pursuits but are
also
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 valuable in many other fields, including science and technology.
For instance
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,
student
Correct article usage
a student
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, who has never worked with a team, can enhance social interaction and teamwork
skills
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 by encouraging
art
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 classes. These
skills
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 are crucial for
overall
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 personal growth.
Furthermore
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,
art
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 education offers exposure to different cultures and perspectives. Students can expand their knowledge if they have
art
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subjects
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 in their schools. Every child should know and study more about artists
such
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 as Leonardo Da Vinci and Claude Monet, because they have made
contribution
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contributions
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 to the
art
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.
Art
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 classes help
children
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 appreciate diversity and foster an understanding and respect for others. More information about
art
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 will improve
neuron-connections
Correct your spelling
neuron connections
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 and memory will be better.
For example
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, several studies have shown that
children
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 who engage in the arts often perform better academically. It can translate to better performance in other
subjects
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.
To sum up
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,
children
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, who attend
art
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subjects
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, will improve their motor
skills
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 and expand their knowledge of cultures and perspectives.
For
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this
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 reason, it is recommended that government should make
art
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subjects
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 compulsory.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and logical flow. Sometimes there are jumps between ideas without clear transitions.
task achievement
Make sure to provide more detailed examples to support your points. Specific, concrete examples can strengthen your argument.
language use
Try to enhance the range of vocabulary and sentence structures to make your writing more engaging and sophisticated.
task achievement
The essay clearly states the position in the introduction and reiterates it in the conclusion, providing a clear answer to the prompt.
coherence cohesion
There is a logical structure with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant reasons for why art education is important, such as the development of cognitive abilities and cultural awareness.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Cognitive abilities
  • Emotional expression
  • Cultural awareness
  • Fine motor skills
  • Creativity and innovation
  • Academic performance
  • Self-esteem
  • Social interaction
  • Teamwork skills
  • Artistic pursuits
  • Developmental stages
  • Diversity and inclusivity
  • Perspective-taking
  • Holistic development
  • Emotional intelligence
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