Research shows that some activities are good for health and others are bad. Despite knowing that, millions of people engage in unhealthy activities. What is the cause of this? What can be done? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experiences.
In today's generation, many discuss the good and bad
activities
that people
take part
in on a daily basis, even after knowing the potential harmful effects, millions take part
in these negative activities
. This
essay will discuss the causes and some of the potential solutions using reasons and examples, to express my viewpoint.
To begin
with, there are multiple causes that describe why people
take part
in these activities
, one of the foremost would be a lack of awareness and education. Despite having a basic understanding of the activity, many people
do not fully understand the consequences of these unhealthy habits. For instance
, numerous take part
in it just out of curiosity, to experience why is it a negative activity. Furthermore
, some take part
in it as a result
of peer pressure and cultural norms. People
often tend to be influenced by someone's behaviour and to meet the expectations of peers around them. For example
, a lot of students or youngsters get involved with these negative activities
just to feel accepted within a social group like a friends
group, they do so by mimicking their peers Change the noun form
friend
performed
negative activity. After being introduced to these negative Wrong verb form
performing
activities
, some get into addiction or dependency making it harder for them to quit.
On the other hand
, there is a handful of solutions that can be done to resolve this
issue. Some of them are spreading awareness through the education system, by taking part
in social groups to overcome addiction, advertising and marketing more aggressively about the
healthier options than their unhealthy counterparts and Correct article usage
apply
by
providing more of the healthier and affordable alternatives, which are readily available.
In conclusion, there are multiple solutions to overcome these negative Change preposition
apply
activities
. However
, In my opinion, it is important to address and spread awareness about the causes. To make everyone understand people
take part
in these activities
.Submitted by nick
on
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task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt adequately, but it can be further improved by providing more specific examples and connecting them clearly to the issues discussed. Try to elaborate on your points with more detail.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. This can be achieved by using appropriate linking words and phrases to improve the overall flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Focus on expanding your concluding paragraph to summarize the main points and present a clear and strong final thought. This will reinforce your argument and enhance the coherence of your essay.
task achievement
The essay is generally well-structured and addresses the prompt by discussing causes and potential solutions for people engaging in unhealthy activities.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, providing a clear start and end to the essay.
task achievement
The essay includes relevant examples to illustrate the points discussed, which enhances the reader's understanding.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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