News plays an important part of most people’s lives. Why is news so important to people? Why is so much news dedicated to bad news? Should the news focus on good news instead?

News
are playing
Wrong verb form
plays
show examples
a major part in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human life. Because it can only
the
Add a missing verb
be the
show examples
communication between the man and society. Recently most of the
media
and newspapers
are
Verb problem
have
show examples
focusing
Wrong verb form
focused
show examples
priority
to deliver
Change preposition
on delivering
show examples
the
worse
Correct word choice
worst
show examples
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
show examples
to
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
rather
of
Change preposition
than
show examples
knowledgeable
news
.
This
essay is going to discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
the factors and causes of
this
statement.
Initially
, the
news
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
reached to
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
before by newspaper, radio and television.
Hence
it takes time to prepare in that time all
media
staff and editors are
concerning
Wrong verb form
concerned
show examples
about the
social
Change the word
socially
show examples
beneficial
news
and that
news
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
coming
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
the front page of their
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
and first topic
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
television and radio.
Moreover
,
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
also
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
patience until the
news
to reach
Change the verb form
reaches
show examples
among
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them and most of
citizens
Add an article
the citizens
show examples
who are staying in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rural areas are
illiteracy
Replace the word
illiterate
show examples
due to
that
news
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
not spreading faster in that time.
Furthermore
, at present the situation has changed entirely, now the technology has grown up to the sky level.
Also
Add a comma
Also,
show examples
most of the social
media
has debuted
due to
this
lot of
event
Fix the agreement mistake
events
show examples
and
incident
Fix the agreement mistake
incidents
show examples
can spread easily to the public. All of them
are having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
smart phones
Correct your spelling
smartphones
show examples
so people can freely take
picture
Change the form of the verb
pictures
show examples
of any accident or incident
whatever
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
happened
infront
Correct your spelling
in front
them
Change preposition
of them
show examples
and post
online
Correct pronoun usage
them online
show examples
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social
media
. In a nutshell,
media
Correct article usage
the media
show examples
has more responsibility
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to create a good society and it has the focal point
to reduce
Change preposition
of reducing
show examples
the crime rates.
Hence
, all persons who are working in
media
and newspapers should concentrate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
social
beneficial
Replace the word
benefits that
show examples
will reach in
better
Add an article
a better
show examples
way to public. Whilst, negative events
also
will reach
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
in
good
Change the article
a good
show examples
manner for trying to aware them.
Submitted by smsundaram57 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Your essay contains a good introduction and conclusion, but the logical flow needs improvement. Try to ensure each paragraph contains a single, clear main point that is well-supported with evidence or examples.
task achievement
You partially addressed the task, but some ideas could be developed further. For instance, explain why bad news is more commonly reported and discuss examples of good news that could have a positive impact on society.
task achievement
To enhance clarity and comprehension, use more precise vocabulary and vary your sentence structures. Avoid repetition and ensure each sentence contributes meaningfully to your argument.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the question and provides an overview of how news delivery has evolved with technology.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, setting the context and summarizing your views effectively.
task achievement
You attempt to explain both sides of the issue—how news has historically been delivered and how it is shared today, which is a good approach to answering the question comprehensively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: