News plays an important part of most people’s lives. Why is news so important to people? Why is so much news dedicated to bad news? Should the news focus on good news instead?
News
are playing
a major part in Wrong verb form
plays
the
human life. Because it can only Correct article usage
apply
the
communication between the man and society. Recently most of the Add a missing verb
be the
media
and newspapers are
Verb problem
have
focusing
priority Wrong verb form
focused
to deliver
the Change preposition
on delivering
worse
Correct word choice
worst
event
to Fix the agreement mistake
events
public
rather Add an article
the public
of
knowledgeable Change preposition
than
news
. This
essay is going to discuss about
the factors and causes of Remove the preposition
apply
this
statement.
Initially
, the news
were
reached to Change the verb form
was
public
before by newspaper, radio and television. Add an article
the public
Hence
it takes time to prepare in that time all media
staff and editors are concerning
about the Wrong verb form
concerned
social
beneficial Change the word
socially
news
and that news
are
coming Change the verb form
is
in
the front page of their Change preposition
to
newspaper
and first topic Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
in
Change preposition
on
the
television and radio. Correct article usage
apply
Moreover
, public
Add an article
the public
also
have
Change the verb form
has
the
patience until the Correct article usage
apply
news
to reach
Change the verb form
reaches
among
them and most of Change preposition
apply
citizens
who are staying in Add an article
the citizens
the
rural areas are Correct article usage
apply
illiteracy
Replace the word
illiterate
due to
that news
are
not spreading faster in that time.
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
Furthermore
, at present the situation has changed entirely, now the technology has grown up to the sky level. Also
most of the social Add a comma
Also,
media
has debuted due to
this
lot of event
and Fix the agreement mistake
events
incident
can spread easily to the public. All of them Fix the agreement mistake
incidents
are having
Wrong verb form
have
smart phones
so people can freely take Correct your spelling
smartphones
picture
of any accident or incident Change the form of the verb
pictures
whatever
happened Correct pronoun usage
that
infront
Correct your spelling
in front
them
and post Change preposition
of them
online
Correct pronoun usage
them online
in
Change preposition
on
the
social Correct article usage
apply
media
.
In a nutshell, media
has more responsibility Correct article usage
the media
for
to create a good society and it has the focal point Change preposition
apply
to reduce
the crime rates. Change preposition
of reducing
Hence
, all persons who are working in media
and newspapers should concentrate the
social Change preposition
on the
beneficial
will reach in Replace the word
benefits that
better
way to public. Whilst, negative events Add an article
a better
also
will reach public
in Add an article
the public
good
manner for trying to aware them.Change the article
a good
Submitted by smsundaram57 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
Your essay contains a good introduction and conclusion, but the logical flow needs improvement. Try to ensure each paragraph contains a single, clear main point that is well-supported with evidence or examples.
task achievement
You partially addressed the task, but some ideas could be developed further. For instance, explain why bad news is more commonly reported and discuss examples of good news that could have a positive impact on society.
task achievement
To enhance clarity and comprehension, use more precise vocabulary and vary your sentence structures. Avoid repetition and ensure each sentence contributes meaningfully to your argument.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the question and provides an overview of how news delivery has evolved with technology.
coherence cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, setting the context and summarizing your views effectively.
task achievement
You attempt to explain both sides of the issue—how news has historically been delivered and how it is shared today, which is a good approach to answering the question comprehensively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!