Many people believe that watching a live performance is more enjoyable than watching the same event on television. To what extend do you agree or disagree.

The
Correct article usage
A
show examples
number of individuals believe that watching directly is more interesting than others who watch
the
Correct article usage
a
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similar event on television.
This
writer
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
totally
disagree
Correct subject-verb agreement
disagrees
show examples
due to
the fact that the quality of
performance
and
a
Remove the article
apply
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limited privacy. It is vital to understand that watching a live
performance
will affect
at
Change preposition
apply
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many qualities
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
performance
Correct article usage
the performance
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. To
clearly
Replace the word
clarify
show examples
this
point, watching a direct
performance
will have some problems
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
music
Correct article usage
the music
show examples
system
due to
the
audiences
Fix the agreement mistake
audience
show examples
around are
Verb problem
apply
show examples
discussing or laughing in there, someone
also
speak
Change the verb form
speaks
show examples
loudly
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
can lead to others
can
Verb problem
apply
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not
hear
Wrong verb form
hearing
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the
performance
.
Moreover
, some
people
have
sit
Fix the infinitive
to sit
show examples
in a room with
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more than 100 members
and
Correct word choice
which
show examples
also
affect
Correct subject-verb agreement
affects
show examples
their eyesight.
For instance
, if
people
who
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have a seat far from the stage, they should sit and watch until the end.
Therefore
, audiences should pay amount of money to get a nice seat. Another factor
should
Correct pronoun usage
that should
show examples
be considered is the limitation of privacy
due to
they must be allowed the rules at the
performance
. It must be recognised that
people
will get comfort at home, they can do everything they want
such
as eating food, discussing and
sit
Wrong verb form
sitting
show examples
anywhere that they feel comfortable.
Additionally
,
people
watch directly who will accept some rules in the
performance
.
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task response
To achieve a higher score in task response, make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction and conclusion, and ensure every paragraph clearly relates to your main point. Linking words and phrases can help create a more logical structure.
coherence and cohesion
Improve coherence by using more transition words and making sure each paragraph logically follows from the previous one. Develop each main point more fully by including more detailed explanations and relevant examples.
task response
The essay makes a clear attempt to address the topic and offers two main reasons for the writer's disagreement.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

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