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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in New Port city center from 2003 to 2012

The chart below shows the changes that took place in three different areas of crime in New Port city center from 2003 to 2012
#changes #place #three #areas #crime #port #city #center
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The line graph compared the changes in crime using 3 various
rate
Change to a plural noun
rates
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 of crime over
Use synonyms
period
Correct article usage
a period
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9
Change preposition
of 9
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years.
It is clear that
Linking Words
Burglary
Use synonyms
 crime was by far the most
wide-spreaded
Correct your spelling
widespread
means of
delinqueancy
Correct your spelling
delinquency
 over the
period
Use synonyms
 shown.Robbery provided the lowest index of lowbreaking in each year. In 2003
burglary
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 was the main figure of
delinquancy
Correct your spelling
delinquency
 in New Port city center.Making 3500
incidents
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.Car theft
direction
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 gobbled up under 3000
incidents
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 and robbery
direction
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 provided
Correct article usage
a neglible
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neglible
Correct your spelling
negligible
 amount.Just one year later
burglary
Use synonyms
 overtook
the
Correct article usage
apply
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car theft,as have
big
Correct word choice
a large
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 amount of
incidents
Use synonyms
. Between 2003 and 2012 devout of
burglary
Use synonyms
direction
Use synonyms
 plummed
drammaticaly
Correct your spelling
dramatically
grammatically
 to
peak
Add an article
the peak
a peak
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 of 1500
incidents
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.
By
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
contrast,
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 figure for car theft rose to 3000
incidents
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.In 2012,and remained at
this
Linking Words
 level for the rest of the
period
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.Robbery
direction
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 remained relatively stable, at between 5100 and 500
incidents
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 for the whole
9 year
Add a hyphen
9-year
show examples
period
Use synonyms
Submitted by Shaxnoza on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words period, burglary, incidents, direction with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "provided" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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