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Writing Samples
Band 6

As most people spend a major part of their adult life at work, job satisfaction is an important element of individual wellbeing. What factors contribute to Job satisfaction? How realistic is the expectation of Job satisfaction for all workers?

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We are living in an era where economic development means
people
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 have to
work
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 hard to meet the demands of companies and customers.
Besides
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, a growing number of individuals
today
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 suppose
to
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apply
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that job satisfaction is a decisive factor in personal
wellbeing
Correct your spelling
well-being
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. I
also
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 agree with the above opinion and will present my own opinion below. On the one hand, a suitable working
environment
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 will help
employees
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 improve their efforts in projects and daily
work
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. An
environment
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 full of working tools is the basic thing that
businesses
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 equip
employees
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 to help them ensure effective and safe
work
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 for themselves and
customers
Correct pronoun usage
their customers
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.
In addition
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, a friendly and fun
environment
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 among colleagues brings a sense of excitement and concentration in research and
work
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 tasks. Accompanied by benefits
such
Linking Words
 as coffee, green areas or increased overtime wages help increase enthusiasm at
work
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 and will help the workforce proactively
work
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 for
businesses
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. In China
today
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,
businesses
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 often proactively provide extra meals or hire taxis for
employees
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 who get off
work
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 late to help them proactively
work
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 overtime. Accompanied by benefits
such
Linking Words
 as coffee, green areas or increased overtime wages help increase enthusiasm at
work
Use synonyms
 and will help the workforce proactively
work
Use synonyms
 for
businesses
Use synonyms
. In China
today
Use synonyms
,
businesses
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 often proactively add meals or rent taxis for
employees
Use synonyms
 who get off
work
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 late to help them be more proactive in their
work
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the human factor has a strong impact on human satisfaction in the working
environment
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. At
work
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, if we meet friendly and sociable colleagues or responsible leaders who care about
employees
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,
then
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work
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 together and build memories that will retain workers with the company for a long time.
However
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, personal feelings are still inevitable. If you are satisfied with your job and current benefits, the factors I mentioned above gradually have no weight. Young
people
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today
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 tend to emphasize perfection in
work
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, creating both a positive and negative signal in
today
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's society. First of all, the positive thing here is that the quality of
work
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 will be significantly improved and
this
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 is a testament to the talent of
today
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's young generation. But
along with
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 the residual negativity it brings
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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pressure and perfectionism that makes many
people
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 easily lose their jobs if they do not strive to compete every day. In summary, there are many factors that create job satisfaction for the workforce, but the most important factor is still
people
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's passion and emotions. Someone once said
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
" Passion fuels success " so let's try to find what suits us best and
work
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 to meet our lives.

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coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical structure, consider creating clearer divisions between points by using transitional phrases more effectively. This will help the reader follow your arguments more easily.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that sets the main idea for that paragraph. This will make your writing more coherent and easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences are slightly repetitive, such as mentioning benefits like coffee and green areas multiple times. Try to avoid repetition to keep your writing concise and impactful.
task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that all points are fully developed and explained. For instance, delve a bit deeper into how human emotions and passion play into job satisfaction.
task achievement
Some phrases and grammar constructions could be polished for better clarity, such as 'suppose to that' in the introduction. Reviewing these can make your argument more compelling.
task achievement
The essay effectively introduces the topic and emphasizes the importance of job satisfaction, aligning with the prompt's requirements.
task achievement
You have successfully included relevant specific examples, such as the measures taken by businesses in China to enhance job satisfaction. This shows a good understanding of the topic and provides a practical context.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and present, encapsulating the central arguments well.
coherence cohesion
You have utilized a range of ideas and presented them in a logical order, which helps maintain coherence throughout the essay.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • job satisfaction
  • wellbeing
  • contribute
  • meaningful work
  • work-life balance
  • career progression
  • workplace environment
  • recognition
  • constructive feedback
  • compensation
  • benefits
  • job security
  • autonomy
  • skills match
  • interests match
  • variety
  • challenge
  • economic conditions
  • labor market
  • individual expectations
  • job role
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