In some countries, university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries, students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?
In the present time, it is believed by many individuals that finishing university in another
city
or country away from their family is beneficial for students
, while
other people think that it can be hard for them. In my opinion, I consider that attending university away from home can bring about more advantages for students
compared to any problems it might bring.
Despite the drawbacks below, I believe that the benefits students
might gain from studying in another city
are extremely useful for their future. Firstly
, it is an opportunity for them to develop their personality and to rely on themselves. To put it simply, when students
attend universities in the same city
they are more likely to rely on their parents and relatives for simple things such
as cooking and cleaning contrary to when they are alone. This
is to say that living alone away from home will help students
to take responsibility which will eventually lead to developing their personality. Secondly
, students
living in another country or city
will be more independent. To explain further
, students
will have the total freedom to go out and study at any time they want compared to when they are home where they have to follow a certain rhythm and rules.
Admittedly, there are some issues involved when students
attend universities far from their cities. One problem is that it might expose them to some financial difficulties. In other words
, students
might face some issues with how to manage their budget which can sometimes lead them to start looking for a job to cover their daily expenses. Another negative aspect is that many students
suffer from homesickness. This
problem faces many students
who are not used to be
away from their families and relatives. Wrong verb form
being
Thus
, suffering from homesickness can affect students
' performance and may also
lead to bad results in their studies.
In conclusion, the critical lessons that students
can learn when they study abroad or in another city
will help them to develop their personality and clearly outweigh any disadvantagesSubmitted by s_syedy on
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coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical structure, consider organizing the essay into clear paragraphs with topic sentences. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
While the main points are supported, including more specific examples or evidence would strengthen your argument further.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful in balancing the length of your paragraphs to maintain coherence and readability.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, providing a clear setup and closure.
task achievement
The essay presents clear, comprehensive ideas that effectively address the prompt.
task achievement
The points about personality development and independence are well articulated and relevant.
coherence cohesion
Good use of cohesive devices like 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' 'Admittedly,' and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader through the argument.