In some countries, university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries, students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?

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In the present time, it is believed by many individuals that finishing university in another
city
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or country away from their family is beneficial for
students
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,
while
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other people think that it can be hard for them. In my opinion, I consider that attending university away from home can bring about more advantages for
students
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compared to any problems it might bring. Despite the drawbacks below, I believe that the benefits
students
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might gain from studying in another
city
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are extremely useful for their future.
Firstly
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, it is an opportunity for them to develop their personality and to rely on themselves. To put it simply, when
students
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attend universities in the same
city
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they are more likely to rely on their parents and relatives for simple things
such
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as cooking and cleaning contrary to when they are alone.
This
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is to say that living alone away from home will help
students
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to take responsibility which will eventually lead to developing their personality.
Secondly
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,
students
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living in another country or
city
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will be more independent. To explain
further
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,
students
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will have the total freedom to go out and study at any time they want compared to when they are home where they have to follow a certain rhythm and rules. Admittedly, there are some issues involved when
students
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attend universities far from their cities. One problem is that it might expose them to some financial difficulties.
In other words
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,
students
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might face some issues with how to manage their budget which can sometimes lead them to start looking for a job to cover their daily expenses. Another negative aspect is that many
students
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suffer from homesickness.
This
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problem faces many
students
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who are not used to
be
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being
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away from their families and relatives.
Thus
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, suffering from homesickness can affect
students
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' performance and may
also
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lead to bad results in their studies. In conclusion, the critical lessons that
students
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can learn when they study abroad or in another
city
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will help them to develop their personality and clearly outweigh any disadvantages

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coherence cohesion
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task achievement
While the main points are supported, including more specific examples or evidence would strengthen your argument further.
coherence cohesion
Be mindful in balancing the length of your paragraphs to maintain coherence and readability.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion effectively frame the essay, providing a clear setup and closure.
task achievement
The essay presents clear, comprehensive ideas that effectively address the prompt.
task achievement
The points about personality development and independence are well articulated and relevant.
coherence cohesion
Good use of cohesive devices like 'Firstly,' 'Secondly,' 'Admittedly,' and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader through the argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • independence
  • self-reliance
  • finance management
  • exposure
  • broaden horizons
  • open-minded
  • adaptability
  • conducive environment
  • isolation
  • homesickness
  • financial burden
  • household duties
  • academic responsibilities
  • personal growth
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