IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

People’s lives are now surrounded by advertisements. This affects what people consider important and has a negative impact on people’s lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people’s #lives #advertisements #people #impact
It is clear that
people
's
lives
Add a missing verb
are fulled
show examples
fulled
Correct your spelling
filled
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by
Change preposition
with
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advertisments
Correct your spelling
advertisements
 in
moden
Correct your spelling
modern
 societies and it can
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a negative
affect
Correct your spelling
effect
show examples
 on their
lives
. I disagree completely and I will explain some negative impacts as
wwll
Correct your spelling
well
 as some positive
affects
Correct your spelling
effects
show examples
 on their
lives
.
To begin
 with ,
advertisment
Correct your spelling
advertisement
advertising
 has an important role in
people
's
lives
obviousely
Correct your spelling
obviously
.
for
Capitalize word
For
show examples
 example , it causes families
buy
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to buy
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 many things that are not essential only
because of flaunting
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to flaunt
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 their wealth.
On the other hand
 , more advertisements
in
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on
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 social media are not reliable.
Hence
 , there is
not any
Rephrase
no
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garranty
Correct your spelling
guarantee
 for their buying.
for example
 , some
organs
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organisations
show examples
 advertise their products and encourage
people
 to buy , but they do not send for them
anythings
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anything
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 or they send a weak
pruduct
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product
 with expensive prices.
Although
advertisememts
Correct your spelling
advertisements
 have some poor
affects
Replace the word
effects
show examples
 on
people
's
lives
 , there are many positive points in
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society.
for
example
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example,
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people
 can know different
brand
Fix the agreement mistake
brands
show examples
an
Correct your spelling
and
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 they can choose their products from a wide variety of brands.
Moreover
 , advertisements help to economic cycle in the world
that
Correct word choice
in that
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it
Correct pronoun usage
they
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 can be
affective
Correct your spelling
effective
show examples
 for improvement in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sosiety
Correct your spelling
society
as well as
people
's
lives
. since
,
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apply
show examples
family
Add an article
the family
a family
show examples
 can provide
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
work in their houses and sell their products
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
social media
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their phones.
this
 is an
exceptionaly
Correct your spelling
exceptionally
 good job
specialy
Correct your spelling
specially
especially
 for old
people
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 can not do
physically
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physical
show examples
 works.
to sum up
 ,
advertisments
Correct your spelling
advertisements
 have negative and positive
affects
Correct your spelling
effects
show examples
 on
people
's
lives
. But in my
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
show examples
this
 issue
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 good and essential
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
if
people
 use that in
correct
Add an article
the correct
a correct
show examples
 way.
Submitted by rastaebrahimifar on

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grammatical
Focus on proofreading your essay for grammatical errors and typos. For example, 'full' should be 'filled' and 'affect' should be 'effect'. This will significantly improve readability and coherence.
cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. You could use linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and paragraphs.
task response
Expand on your examples to make them more specific and detailed. This will provide clearer support for your points and enhance your task response score.
structure
Your essay structure is sound, containing an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This shows a clear understanding of essay format.
task response
You presented both sides of the argument, which demonstrates a balanced approach to the essay topic.
idea generation
You raised some interesting points about the impact of advertisements on consumer behavior and the economy.

You are not ready for IELTS Speaking, if you

  • Can’t speak smoothly without pauses.
  • Use simple words and lack vocabulary.
  • Feel nervous and anxious when speaking.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Consumerism
  • Materialism
  • Idealized images
  • Body image
  • Comparison culture
  • Societal values
  • Financial strain
  • Instant gratification
  • Brand loyalty
  • Manipulative techniques
  • Sensationalism
  • Disposable income
  • Spending habits
  • Lifestyle advertisements
  • Psychological impact
  • Commercialization
  • Target audience
  • Marketing strategies
  • Impulse buying
  • Economic pressure
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

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