Some people believe that celebrating personal events is a waste of money. Others feel that these celebrations play an important role in the lives of individuals and in society as a whole. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
It is a common belief that performing the jubilee of a personal opening is a waste of economics.
However
, there is a more persuasive argument that these events play a significant part in some citizens' lives and in society as a whole because the main reason is to help the relationship between others with others become closer and more sustainable throughout many incidents.
On the one hand, this
is not necessary to invest more financially in holiday opportunities it encourages lots of money to carefully prepare types of equipment and content for the ceremony. Specifically, when any opportunity happens, the festival host will pay the amount of property to arrange the events carefully from the guest's investment, the main function of the party and other necessary things including food, chairs tables and location to celebrate the case. For example
, some individuals will celebrate our birthdays like an important event the joining of a lot of citizens and carefully prepare everything on occasion, it does not bring any advantage for society and at the same time, it takes a lot of time and economic of guests.
Nevertheless
, I support the idea that a commemoration is an important part of each individual's life, it brings closer relationships with each other like partners of work that can easily work and develop together. An occasion is an opportunity in order to develop their relationships, the meeting and conversation can establish closer contact and understanding of each other. This
is a perfect method for developing goals as well as
studying other people more knowledge and experience in life. For instance
, the majority of successful businesses often celebrate ceremonies with many variety of purposes and they will invent customers or the people who are looked up to, with the intent is get closer to the requirements of customers and get more good experiences from predecessors.
In my opinion, a waste of income in order to save for themselves more lessons about life skills and improve their relationships of each other with each other is worth it. Therefore
, the celebration of personal anniversaries with beneficial purposes may bring hosts more than investment capital .
To sum up
, while
it is apparent that one of the ways to waste money is the performance of each individual's occasion, it is undeniable that an anniversary is a significant chance to improve their self become better.Submitted by [email protected] on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
To improve your task response, ensure that you clearly state both perspectives on the topic and take a definitive stance. Your current essay touches on both viewpoints, but elaborating further with examples and reasoning will strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, improve the logical structure by organizing your ideas into clear paragraphs with clear topic sentences. Also, make sure to use more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, which frames your essay and gives it a complete feel.
task achievement
You have attempted to discuss both views and provided a clear opinion, which is a good start for the task response.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.