IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people choose to eat no meat or fish. They believe that this is not only better for their own health but also benefits the world as a whole. Discuss this view and give your own opinion.

#people #meat #fish #health #world
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,
people
 are free to have a lot of options related to food. Some of them argue that eating
meat
 or
fish
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
 a fundamentally beneficial influence on our planet and our own life,
while
 many others contend that it has a detrimental effect as well. To my way of thinking,
meat
 and
fish
 are
one
Correct determiner usage
some
show examples
 of the most important foods for our normal health, so it is harmful to refuse
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 absolutely.
Firstly
,
meat
 and
fish
 provide a lot of cardinal vitamins. It is extremely necessary for our vital processes
such
 as growth and physiological essence. Many food scientists have found out that there are several types of vitamins and proteins that
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 only be obtained from
meat
 and
fish
.
For example
, Salmon
fish
 generate certain types of oils that are beneficial for our blood circulation process. And
then
, red
meat
 is needed as the source of nutrition for the
human’s
Change noun form
human
show examples
 brain.
Moreover
, it has been evidently proved that animal products are a rich source of Zinc and other micronutrients
as well as
 the macronutrients that are quintessential to survive in an optimum way. Not incorporating it into the regular dietary patterns may imperil one’s risk
to get
Change preposition
of getting
show examples
 emaciated and debilitated. It is found through the research that the proportion of
people
 who intake
meat
 products are found to be at a lower risk of falling sick
to
Change preposition
due to
show examples
 multiple disorders
such
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 Anaemia, Muscular Dystrophy, Cataract, etc.
Moreover
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 undergoing vigorous lifestyle routines can’t efficiently make it to the mark just by accentuating the vegetarian diet as it lacks the adequacy of proteins as compared to the sources
such
 as chicken,
fish
, etc. Some
people
 owing to various reasons
such
 as ethical foregrounds, extinction of animals, etc.
However
, if pondered upon pragmatically, having nutrition-rich nonvegetarian products
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 ineluctable for healthier anatomy and morphology. Conclusively, it could
thus
 be stated that one must plan to incorporate the quality meal on their platter encompassing all the food sources, veggies or
meat
 and should have an intent of
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sound body enveloping exercises and a healthy diet.
Submitted by [email protected] on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

introduction conclusion present
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines both sides of the argument and sets up what your essay will discuss. This will better prepare your reader for the points you will present.
logical structure
Try to maintain consistent use of terminology. For instance, refer to people who do not eat meat consistently as vegetarians or non-meat eaters.
complete response
Include counterarguments more explicitly. Addressing and refuting opposing views can strengthen your argument's persuasiveness and depth.
supported main points
The essay offers a detailed examination of the nutritional benefits of meat and fish. This solidly supports your main argument.
logical structure
The essay's structure is logical, with a clear progression of ideas. Well done on outlining both the necessity of nutrients and the potential benefits and drawbacks.
relevant specific examples
You've used relevant and specific examples, such as Salmon fish generating beneficial oils, which illustrate your points effectively.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Plant-based diet
  • Chronic diseases
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Deforestation
  • Water consumption
  • Mitigate climate change
  • Natural resources
  • Animal welfare
  • Humane and ethical choice
  • Healthcare costs
  • Sustainable farming
  • Legumes
  • Fruits and vegetables
  • Vegetarian
  • Vegan
What to do next:
Look at other essays: