IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many people think that living in the city is better than living in the countryside. To what extent do you agree with this view?

#people #city #countryside
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The best place to live your
life
 is often debated in the contemporary era.
While
 many individuals think that rural areas are more suitable for human
life
, others believe that city
life
 is far better.
This
 essay will explain the reasons for my agreement with the latter. First and foremost, I can be certain that the majority of metropolises possess far more advanced infrastructure compared to the countryside. To be more specific, the traffic network that connects every part of the city alongside highways that link big cities brings insurmountable convenience when it comes to transportation.
Moreover
, state-of-the-art hospitals with cutting-edge technology can expand the
life
 expectancy of the citizens and cure almost any disease from the most severe to the least serious ones.
In contrast
, if residents living in the countryside, unfortunately, suffer from symptoms, they are most likely to get diagnosed and cured by a reputable doctor living in the metropolis,
instead
 of a local medicine practitioner. Another major reason I would like to highlight as an advantage of city
life
 is that the options for entertainment are nearly unlimited. In detail, large cinema franchises like CGV only operate in urban areas, providing top-tier entertainment for urban dwellers.
Moreover
, a twenty-four-on-seven society is always ready to meet the most hard-to-please demand of any citizen, whether it’s nightlife or daytime activities.
On the contrary
, the majority of people living in the countryside have no choice but to sleep at about 9 p.m. In conclusion,
although
 I acknowledge that rural
life
 may have some merits, I completely agree with the idea that living in urban areas is far better in every facet.
Submitted by midden-02.tore on

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task response
Your introduction is clear, but consider refining it by briefly stating each main point you will cover in your essay. This can offer a more comprehensive roadmap for the reader.
coherence and cohesion
While your essay is generally well-structured, try to make your transitions between paragraphs even smoother. Using transitional phrases or sentences can enhance the logical flow.
task response
You provided relevant examples, but including a variety of examples from different aspects of urban life (education, employment, social life) could make your arguments even stronger.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear and strong introduction and conclusion, which are essential components of an effective essay.
task response
The ideas presented are clear, and your arguments are comprehensive and detailed, which makes your essay compelling.
task response
Your use of concrete examples, such as mentioning advanced infrastructure and entertainment options, supports your main points well.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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