IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people think that living in the city is better than living in the countryside. To what extent do you agree with this view?

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In modern society, life quality is always the biggest concern for each individual. Others argue that city life is better than rural
areas
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. In my opinion, I think urban
areas
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 are the place worth living. The above personal point will be clarified in the following paragraph. In the town, entertainment is a big plus for citizens to evaluate. The government prioritizes shopping malls, restaurants, and cinemas because of the crowded population and their demands are high.
For example
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, music shows are usually held in the city centre because
this
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 place attracts a large number of viewers and
this
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 is a city-wide gathering place. Usually, tourists will choose fun places in the urban
center
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centre
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. Especially on holidays, the ability to do business in entertainment is even higher and
this
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 is a reason why the state focuses on investment and development.
In contrast
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, in rural
areas
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, it is not popular to organize performances because people are afraid to move the vehicle too far because it can jeopardize
although
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 the space is larger.
In addition
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, school and hospital systems are always
built in
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built-in
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 crowded
areas
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. Urbans have strong financial resources and highly attract
the
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apply
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experts, doctors, and teachers. Since
then
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, the care service
as well as
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 the essential needs will always be trusted by customers.
Along with
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that is
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 a convenient transportation system, making it easy for people to go to the desired locations.
To sum up
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, many people have the same views discussed above that living in
the
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a
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 metropolitan is more beneficial than pastoral.

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples to support your arguments. This will enhance the clarity and depth of your points.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the introduction and conclusion to ensure they are more clearly aligned with your main arguments and reinforce your viewpoint more effectively.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion that city life is better, which is a good starting point for your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The structure of your paragraphs is logical, showing a clear comparison between city and countryside living.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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