While many people go to university for academic study, more people should be encouraged to do vocational training because there is a lack of qualified workers such as electricians and plumbers. Do you agree or disagree?
With an ever-increasing concern about how to handle occupational bias in careers, some
individuals
may have opined that individuals
should be more encouraged to do vocational training to provide qualified workers. This
essay will, however
, provide some reasons why I strongly disagree with the given opinion.
To begin
with, some individuals
may have opined that there are not enough skilled-qualified workers due to
many individuals
going to university for academic study. From the perspective of adults, they have been suffering from a shortage of services and prohibited prices of electrical or plumbing services due to
circumstances where it created an imbalance between supply and demand. Therefore
, those individuals
can benefit from the activated policy of providing vocational training for more individuals
. Furthermore
, compared to random cities, without encouragement to do vocational training have shown an increased tendency of longer waiting times and prohibited prices for the services.
In spite of the reasons mentioned above, I completely contend that encouraging more individuals
to do vocational training should not be the solution to this
issue. Providing a few agreements on previous arguments, moving to educational institutions can illuminate a different perspective. The highest priority is to maximize the number of enrollments to operate properly and yield societal benefits, where they contribute to the entire economy of society in the form of educating qualified labor
forces. Change the spelling
labour
This
consequently
demonstrates that the decreasing number of enrollments in universities is due to
more individuals
tending to engage in vocational training where they have faster access to the labor
market and higher income. Change the spelling
labour
Moreover
, there must be other factors to be weighed in appreciating the actual causal relationship between the encouragement of vocational training and the lack of qualified workers.
In conclusion, some individuals
may think that having more individuals
take vocational training would bring about benefits for society in financial terms. Nevertheless
, I completely believe that making decisions on whether the trend yields positively or not will require more consideration, and thus
governments should be actually involved in determining whether to foster this
tendency or not.Submitted by rachael0124 on
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To improve your score, ensure that each main point is fully developed with specific examples and detailed explanations. This will enhance the comprehensiveness of your essay.
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While your ideas are generally clear, some sentences are awkwardly phrased. Focus on refining your sentence structure for better clarity and readability.
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Try to balance your arguments by providing equally strong points for both sides. Discussing the benefits of vocational training more thoroughly can strengthen your essay.
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The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, providing a strong framework for your arguments.
logical structure
There is a logical structure in your essay, with arguments and counterarguments presented in separate paragraphs.
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Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.