Many children nowadays find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. What are the causes of this phenomenon? What are the possible solutions to this problem?
Children
's education system is important. We need to understand why children
are not able to concentrate on their studies. Otherwise
, it will be a serious problem in society. The way of teaching plays an important role.
Children
's screen time
at home also
plays a vital role in not concentrating on the subject. They are not involved in any mindful activities at home. Also
, they are not encouraged by their parents as well. For instance
, if the parents are busy with their personal work, they do not spend meaningful time
with their children
. So, children
spend more time
on their smartphones.
Total hours spent on the school needs to be considered. Bringing down the time
from 8 to 4 hours will benefit for
Change preposition
apply
children
to focus more on their studies. Apart from
this
, students must be encouraged to be involved in more mind-occupied activities such
as quizzes, cube solving, and mazes. For example
, if they are part of a quiz team, they will mostly involve
in the subjects.
Wrong verb form
be involved
To conclude
, I believe that if we do not change the existing system and come up with a new way of teaching, the problem will continue. This
is really a concerning issue, which needs to be addressed at the earliest. Government
should Correct article usage
The government
also
take more children
's initiatives to make it happen.Submitted by insighttribez on
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task achievement
Your essay could benefit from a more detailed exploration of the causes and solutions. Try to elaborate more on each point you make.
coherence cohesion
Make sure to use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure your essay flows more smoothly. For example, you can use phrases like 'In addition,' 'Moreover,' or 'Consequently.'
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has one clear main idea and that this idea is supported with detailed examples and explanations.
task achievement
You have clearly identified causes and proposed solutions, which shows a sound understanding of the essay prompt.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your essay, making it clear what your main argument is.
Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic
Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.
You essay structure should look something like this:
- Introduction
- Body paragraph 1 – Problems
- Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
- Conclusion
Examples to start your body paragraph:
- One of the first problems of the...
- Another problem that needs to be considered...
- A possible solution to this problem would be...
- One immediate practical solution is to...