Many children nowadays find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. What are the causes of this phenomenon? What are the possible solutions to this problem?

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Children

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's education system is important. We need to understand why

children

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are not able to concentrate on their studies.

Otherwise

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, it will be a serious problem in society. The way of teaching plays an important role.

Children

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's screen

time

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at home

also

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plays a vital role in not concentrating on the subject. They are not involved in any mindful activities at home.

Also

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, they are not encouraged by their parents as well.

For instance

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, if the parents are busy with their personal work, they do not spend meaningful

time

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with their

children

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. So,

children

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spend more

time

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on their smartphones. Total hours spent on the school needs to be considered. Bringing down the

time

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from 8 to 4 hours will benefit

for

Change preposition

apply

show examples

children

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to focus more on their studies.

Apart from

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this

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, students must be encouraged to be involved in more mind-occupied activities

such

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as quizzes, cube solving, and mazes.

For example

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, if they are part of a quiz team, they will mostly

involve

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be involved

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in the subjects.

To conclude

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, I believe that if we do not change the existing system and come up with a new way of teaching, the problem will continue.

This

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is really a concerning issue, which needs to be addressed at the earliest.

Government

Correct article usage

The government

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should

also

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take more

children

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's initiatives to make it happen.

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task achievement

Your essay could benefit from a more detailed exploration of the causes and solutions. Try to elaborate more on each point you make.

coherence cohesion

Make sure to use a variety of cohesive devices to ensure your essay flows more smoothly. For example, you can use phrases like 'In addition,' 'Moreover,' or 'Consequently.'

coherence cohesion

Make sure each paragraph has one clear main idea and that this idea is supported with detailed examples and explanations.

task achievement

You have clearly identified causes and proposed solutions, which shows a sound understanding of the essay prompt.

coherence cohesion

Your introduction and conclusion effectively frame your essay, making it clear what your main argument is.

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – Problems
Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

One of the first problems of the...
Another problem that needs to be considered...
A possible solution to this problem would be...
One immediate practical solution is to...

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

218 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

Attention span
Distraction
Screen time
Cognitive development
Nutritional deficiencies
Engagement strategies
Learning environment
Curriculum overload
Noise pollution
Classroom dynamics
Academic pressure
Social dynamics
Focus and concentration

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Many children nowadays find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. What are the causes of this phenomenon? What are the possible solutions to this problem?

Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

New technologies have changed the way children spend their free time. Do advantages of this outweigh disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experiences.

Universities should enrol equal members of male and female students in all subjects. Do you agree or disagree?

Many people in the music business feel that illegal music sites on the internet are a serious threat to the industry and more should be done to prevent them from operating. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this view?

In many countries, more and more people choose to buy imported food rather than food produced locally. Why people buy imported food? what could be done to encourage people to buy local food?