Some people think seondary school students should study international news as one their subjects, while others believe that this is a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #seondary #school #students #study #news #subjects #waste #time

International

news

should be taught in schools as a subject of curriculum for high school

students

; meanwhile, others think that it is just spending their

time

inefficiently. In my opinion, both thoughts are true, because being aware of international

news

might be helpful in their majors.

Also

, if it distracts from the main education, pupils need to reduce their

time

spent on it. Secondary school

students

need to

study

world

news

as one of the subjects on the curriculum, and it could be beneficial for them in their upcoming studies and careers.

For instance

, some teens want to

study

Change preposition

apply

show examples

economics and finance majors, and many changes have been happening in these faculties.

As a result

, if

students

know well enough about global current events in those fields of

study

, they

could

Wrong verb form

can

show examples

set their goals clearly and may develop in their majors.

Furthermore

, young people who

decided

Wrong verb form

decide

show examples

study

in universities could influence themselves not only in the economics or finance faculty but

also

in any other lines,

such

as art, literature, computer science, and engineering. In high schools,

students'

Correct your spelling

students

show examples

keeping up with world events is considered wasting

time

, and it may be possible;

for example

, if

this

interrupts the main education, they need to avoid spending

time

to learn

Change the verb form

learning

show examples

. To be more clear, some universities or programs require high academic achievements, so those pupils, who should not be aware of global

news

, should concentrate on their preparation for exams.

For instance

, a candidate who has an interest in only

news

or minor things would get rejected from colleges or universities since they did not prepare enough.

To sum up

, some believe that keeping up with global

news

should be taught in high schools, yet other people think that it is not true.

Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on Wed Jun 12 2024

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task achievement

Your introduction does a good job of presenting both views and your own stance. However, try to make it more engaging and clear, perhaps by posing a question or emphasizing the importance of global news education.

task achievement

Include more specific examples to support your points. For example, mention particular world events that might be relevant to students' future careers or give an anecdote about a student benefiting from international news education.

coherence cohesion

Improve your transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs. Use more linking words and phrases like 'furthermore', 'moreover', 'in contrast', etc., to create a smoother flow.

coherence cohesion

Make sure to revisit your conclusion to better summarize the key points you've discussed. It currently feels a bit abrupt and doesn't fully recapture the arguments presented.

task achievement

You have a balanced discussion covering both viewpoints, which is key to addressing the prompt comprehensively.

coherence cohesion

There is a logical structure to your essay, and your arguments are easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

293 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think seondary school students should study international news as one their subjects, while others believe that this is a waste of valuable school time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

As people rely more and more on technology to solve problems, the ability of humans to think for themselves will surely deteriorate. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many people believe that the priority of the government should be to ensure a growing economy. While others believe that the government should focus its efforts on uplifting the less fortunate? Discuss both views.

Some people think that in order to be successful in business one has to study at university, while others disagree. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Traffic congestion is a worldwide problem for urban populations. What are some of the causes of this problem and what measures can be taken to address it? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should write at least 250 words.