IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table shows information about student studying at an Australian university in 2009

The table shows information about student studying at an Australian university in 2009
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The table compares the percentages of 3 different
people
Use synonyms
 who are female or
who's
Correct your spelling
whose
show examples
 first
language
Use synonyms
 isn'
t
Use synonyms
English
Use synonyms
 or who
isn'
Wrong verb form
weren't
show examples
t
Use synonyms
 born in Australia and categories named
humanities
Use synonyms
,
education
Use synonyms
,
science
Use synonyms
,
physics
Use synonyms
,
information
Use synonyms
technology
Use synonyms
 and engineering in Australian
university
Fix the agreement mistake
universities
show examples
 in 2009.
Overall
Linking Words
,
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
show examples
 more female students
choose
Wrong verb form
chose
show examples
humanities
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
as
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
that category was less chosen by
whom
Correct pronoun usage
those whose
show examples
first
Change the article
the first
show examples
language
Use synonyms
wasn
Use synonyms
'
t
Use synonyms
English
Use synonyms
 and who
Use synonyms
wasn'
Correct subject-verb agreement
weren't
show examples
t
Use synonyms
 Australian than other species. The most choice for females was
humanities
Use synonyms
 and it was 72% but less chosen categories were
Information
Use synonyms
technology
Use synonyms
 and engineering and they were 17% and 15% respectively.
While
Linking Words
 the chosen percentage of
education
Use synonyms
 by women was 68%,
science
Use synonyms
 and
physics
Use synonyms
 were chosen 52% and 56% respectively by girls. The most 3 chosen
studying
Change the verb form
to study
show examples
 were
Information
Use synonyms
technology
Use synonyms
,
science
Use synonyms
 and engineering and they were 49%, 45% and 42% respectively by
people
Use synonyms
who's
Correct your spelling
whose
show examples
 first
language
Use synonyms
wasn
Use synonyms
'
t
Use synonyms
English
Use synonyms
 when
physics
Use synonyms
 was chosen 38% by that students type.
Humanities
Use synonyms
 had the
least
Correct word choice
lowest
show examples
 chosen percentage by
people
Use synonyms
 whose
language
Use synonyms
 was not
English
Use synonyms
 and
Change preposition
at that
show examples
that
Change preposition
at that
show examples
 time the percentage of chosen
education
Use synonyms
 by that
people
Use synonyms
 type was 16. The percentages of
physics
Use synonyms
 and
information
Use synonyms
technology
Use synonyms
 by
people
Use synonyms
 who
Use synonyms
wasn'
Change the verb form
weren't
show examples
t
Use synonyms
 Australian were similar and it was 56
while
Linking Words
 between
humanities
Use synonyms
 and
education
Use synonyms
 chosen had a difference
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
 3 and they were 20 and 23 respectively. The percentages
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
science
Use synonyms
 and engineering were 31 and 48 respectively.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people, language, t, english, humanities, education, science, physics, information, technology, wasn with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 4 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentages" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: