IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Students in school and university learn far more from lessons with their teachers compared to other sources, such as the television or the internet. Do you agree or disagree?

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Students
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 who study in schools and universities benefit more from teachers compared to other options, namely television and the
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
. I disagree with
this
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 statement because I believe that other sources make it easy for
students
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 to clarify their doubts, and visual learning enhances how much information is going into pupils’ brains.
Firstly
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, the ease of searching through the web eliminates the hassle that goes into solving doubts.
That is
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 to say
that
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apply
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students
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 can type specific
key words
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keywords
show examples
 into YouTube and get
videos
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 that are related to the subject in a matter of clicks.
For example
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, when a student doesn’t understand a certain part of the process of photosynthesis, he can find many lessons curated for that topic on Google or YouTube. Teachers,
on the other hand
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, cannot be as efficient as the
internet
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 in quickly solving a doubt.
Secondly
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,
videos
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 and animations are better at instilling information into the minds of
students
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 compared to typical lessons at universities. Nowadays, many
videos
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 are made to captivate their minds and keep them in constant focus because they use attractive images and vibrant colours.
For example
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, a survey was done in Finland with two groups of
students
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; one group was taught in classrooms by regular tutors, and the other learned by watching
videos
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 related to the same lesson.
This
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 test showed that the second group had a better understanding of the topic than the first group. In conclusion, university and school
students
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 who use other ways of learning,
such
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 as TV and the
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
, learn more than from lessons conducted by teachers.
This
Linking Words
 is because of how easy it is to find solutions to their doubts on the
internet
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 and the fact that visual education is far more optimised for delivering knowledge to
students
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.

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coherence cohesion
While your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, integrating more transitional phrases can improve coherence by guiding the reader through your points more smoothly.
task achievement
To strengthen your task response, consider addressing potential counterarguments and providing a more balanced view. This will showcase your ability to engage with the topic critically.
task achievement
Expand on the specific examples you provided to make your points more robust and compelling. Adding more evidence or varying the types of examples can enrich your argument.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-written and clearly state your position and main points.
task achievement
You use clear, comprehensive sentences that are easy to understand, demonstrating your ability to convey complex ideas effectively.
task achievement
The examples provided, like the survey in Finland, are relevant and help to illustrate your points effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • personalized feedback
  • guidance
  • interactive learning environments
  • discussions
  • group work
  • hands-on activities
  • retention of knowledge
  • passive consumption
  • digital sources
  • emotional support
  • motivation
  • vast array of information
  • proliferation of resources
  • supplement traditional lessons
  • self-directed learning
  • independence
  • critical thinking skills
  • multimedia tools
  • videos
  • podcasts
  • interactive simulations
  • learning styles
  • engaging
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