In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population create problems for governments. Other people think there are benefit if society has more elderly people. To what extend do the advantage of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantage?
Nowadays, many
countries
are becoming ageing which influences all society's infrastructures due to
many reasons, such
as inflation and not supporting young individuals from the governments, however
, people
live longer than in former era due to
eating healthy food and a good lifestyle. In this
essay, I will give my opinion with examples.
On the one hand, one of the negative aspects of an ageing population is that life expectancy will be reduced, because many illness depends on age, such
as high blood pressure, diabetes and heart disease, these factors influence the economy of a country which authorities have to pay for aged persons in order to save them which this
action can make inflation accordingly
, however
in some countries
aged people
are used to taking care themselves and paying their own expense.
Secondly
, an aged country can reduce the supply of capable labour in nation
. Add an article
the nation
In other words
, a young workforce sets development cycles in motion and the older the community, the weaker the economy. A good example of this
would be India, people
in India are younger rather other
Correct determiner usage
those other
countries
and due to
this
reason, its economy and development cycles are being improved.
On the other hand
, one of the main positive points of attendance of aged people
in countries
is that young individuals can consult with an elderly community and use their experience in their life. Because it is believed that aged people
are the power and reputable of countries
as well as
the main role in families and society.
All in all, as can be seen from the points in this
essay , in my opinion, the disadvantages of having an ageing population outweigh the advantages, because the younger culture, the happier public and a younger country has more motivation and life expectancy.Submitted by hoseinyasemi.ir on
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task response
To improve your task response, ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed thoroughly. For instance, while you have mentioned both advantages and disadvantages, a more balanced discussion with equal depth on both sides would enhance your essay.
coherence and cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph contains a single clear idea and that supporting sentences logically follow the main idea. This will make your arguments more compelling and easier for the reader to follow.
task response
To make your main points clearer and more comprehensive, avoid general statements and provide more specific examples that directly support your arguments. This will make your essay more engaging and convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure your introduction clearly presents the essay's main arguments, and that your conclusion provides a concise summary of your main points, reiterating your stance.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction sets the stage for the discussion and gives a general idea of what the essay will address.
task response
You have attempted to provide examples to support your arguments, such as mentioning India and its young workforce.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, contributing to a structured response.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.