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In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before. Some people say an ageing population create problems for governments. Other people think there are benefit if society has more elderly people. To what extend do the advantage of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantage?

#countries #people #population #governments #benefit #society #advantage
Nowadays, many
countries
 are becoming ageing which influences all society's infrastructures
due to
 many reasons,
such
 as inflation and not supporting young individuals from the governments,
however
,
people
 live longer than in former era
due to
 eating healthy food and a good lifestyle. In
this
 essay, I will give my opinion with examples. On the one hand, one of the negative aspects of an ageing population is that life expectancy will be reduced, because many illness depends on age,
such
 as high blood pressure, diabetes and heart disease, these factors influence the economy of a country which authorities have to pay for aged persons in order to save them which
this
 action can make inflation
accordingly
,
however
 in some
countries
 aged
people
 are used to taking care themselves and paying their own expense.
Secondly
, an aged country can reduce the supply of capable labour in
nation
Add an article
the nation
show examples
.
In other words
, a young workforce sets development cycles in motion and the older the community, the weaker the economy. A good example of
this
 would be India,
people
 in India are younger rather
other
Correct determiner usage
those other
show examples
countries
 and
due to
this
 reason, its economy and development cycles are being improved.
On the other hand
, one of the main positive points of attendance of aged
people
 in
countries
 is that young individuals can consult with an elderly community and use their experience in their life. Because it is believed that aged
people
 are the power and reputable of
countries
as well as
 the main role in families and society. All in all, as can be seen from the points in
this
 essay , in my opinion, the disadvantages of having an ageing population outweigh the advantages, because the younger culture, the happier public and a younger country has more motivation and life expectancy.
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task response
To improve your task response, ensure that all parts of the prompt are addressed thoroughly. For instance, while you have mentioned both advantages and disadvantages, a more balanced discussion with equal depth on both sides would enhance your essay.
coherence and cohesion
For better coherence and cohesion, ensure that each paragraph contains a single clear idea and that supporting sentences logically follow the main idea. This will make your arguments more compelling and easier for the reader to follow.
task response
To make your main points clearer and more comprehensive, avoid general statements and provide more specific examples that directly support your arguments. This will make your essay more engaging and convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure your introduction clearly presents the essay's main arguments, and that your conclusion provides a concise summary of your main points, reiterating your stance.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction sets the stage for the discussion and gives a general idea of what the essay will address.
task response
You have attempted to provide examples to support your arguments, such as mentioning India and its young workforce.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, contributing to a structured response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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