Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes ( for example working for a charity, improving the neighbour or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree. Give reasons for your answer and Include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

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Some academics believe that
community
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service
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should be included in the curriculum. I must admit that I wholeheartedly agree that
students
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should be involved in
community
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service
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because, at a young age, it is paramount to socialize
while
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being helpful in society at the same time.
Moreover
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, it could improve their empathy because they will interact with various kinds of
people
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rather than learn only formal subjects. As a teenage student, it is important to learn about socializing and be
part
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of civilization because they will contribute when they grow up,
thus
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, involving in a social activity would benefit them. As they do social activities, they interact with new
people
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and learn to handle different circumstances that could improve their social skills. In a charity,
for example
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, as a member, they will organize the program and communicate with the public involved in the charity.
As a result
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,
this
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experience improves their teamwork and communication skills. Another reason is doing unpaid
service
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for society is teenagers will grow their empathy. As
part
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of a
community
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,
students
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will experience various circumstances and open different perspectives because they meet
people
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from different backgrounds and conditions.
While
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teaching in rural areas,
for instance
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, the
students
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will directly experience a fully different environment and they will be grateful and sympathetic at the same time.
Hence
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, the student will have various perspectives in their lives.
To conclude
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, it is important for schools to add social activities as
part
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of their curriculum. It is because the
students
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can learn to socialize and obtain experiences to meet various
people
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,
as a result
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, it will improve their social skills as
part
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of society.
Nevertheless
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, I agree that unpaid
community
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service
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should be added to school programmes rather than only theory subjects.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
Your task response is strong as you clearly express your opinion and provide reasons for it. However, ensure that your examples are deep and varied to fully support your points.
coherence cohesion
Improve the coherence by using more varied transitional phrases and linking words. This will make your essay more fluent and easier to read.
task achievement
While your essay is clear, occasionally your language is slightly awkward or overly simplistic. Focus on using a wider range of vocabulary and more complex sentence structures.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-written and clearly outline and summarize your points.
coherence cohesion
The essay is logically structured, and each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt completely, stating a clear position and supporting that position with relevant points.
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