IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

These days, people work in more than one job, and often change career several times during their life. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

#people #work #job #change #career #times #life
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, having more than
one
job
 and changing careers seems like a normal situation.
However
, there are both pros and cons to deciding to do
this
. In
this
 essay, I will discuss some of the reasons why people often change their careers and have more than
one
 workplace and some challenges to be overcome. Let’s begin by looking at the advantages of changing the workplace.
One
 of the main positives of changing the current workplace is some benefits that you can have. What I mean by
this
 is that you can find a better place to work and a better salary.
For instance
, you have been working for your
companyfor 5years
Correct your spelling
company for years
, and you gained new knowledge, experience and growth as an employee but your boss does not want to increase your salary.
This
 can make you think that you are not a good specialist and so on.
Secondly
, you can have more money by having more than
one
job
.
For example
, you are working online but someone offered you an extra project that you will be finished in some weeks.
In addition
, having more than
one
job
 leads to some issues of mental health, so be careful. Turning to the other side of the argument, heads of some companies don’t like when their employees are looking for a new position in another place
while
 they are still working for their company.
This
 often leads to being fined or the worst that can happen is dismissal. All things considered, about having more than
one
job
, and how often you can change
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
. You need to weigh up the pros of having 2 or more jobs and changing workplaces so often, and the cons of doing things like
this
.
Submitted by vladkruglovfencer on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Expand on your ideas in more detail. While you've made some good points, adding more depth and examples would strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure smooth transitions between your points. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.
coherence and cohesion
Proofread your essay for minor mistakes such as missing spaces or repetitive phrases (e.g., 'companyfor' instead of 'company for'). This will improve readability.
coherence and cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which provide a structured framework for your discussion.
task achievement
You have addressed both advantages and disadvantages, providing a balanced perspective.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Skill diversification
  • Versatile
  • Professional network
  • Career advancement
  • Job satisfaction
  • Personal fulfillment
  • Market value
  • Job insecurity
  • Financial strain
  • Specialization
  • Adjustment periods
  • Unemployment
  • Deep expertise
  • Long-term benefits
  • Retirement plans
What to do next:
Look at other essays: