Nowadays, families are not as close as in the past and a lot of people have become used to this. Why is this happening? Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the drawbacks? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
There are
people
that
complain Correct pronoun usage
who that
the
families Correct article usage
apply
nowdays
are not close to each other if Correct the word
nowadays
compare
with the past. One possible reason is the advancement of technology that Wrong verb form
compared
increase
individualism amongst society Correct subject-verb agreement
increases
while
it might be a benefit
for people
with toxic family
, it could be a drawback because it could affect our social Fix the agreement mistake
families
ability
. I wholeheartedly siding
with the disadvantages of Wrong verb form
side
this
trend that outweigh the advantages.
The possible reason of
the trend is the advancement of technology that makes individualism in society increase. Parents still work through their Change preposition
for
phone
after work and they do not have enough time for their Fix the agreement mistake
phones
children
and
Correct word choice
apply
this
unhealthy communication distance
parents Correct subject-verb agreement
distances
with
their Change preposition
from
son
or Fix the agreement mistake
sons
daughter
. One Fix the agreement mistake
daughters
benefit
of this
trend is people
with toxic family
have time to Fix the agreement mistake
families
get
heal and clear their Verb problem
apply
mind
. There are Fix the agreement mistake
minds
circumtances
that make parents Correct your spelling
circumstances
being
toxic to their Verb problem
apply
children
, for example
, they are abusive and threaten their child, thus
, with
the distance Change preposition
apply
it
could help other Correct pronoun usage
apply
member
relieve for a second.
Change the wording
members
However
, in an ideal family, each member have
different roles and the distance makes Change the verb form
has
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
is
unable to obtain the Unnecessary verb
apply
benefit
. Fix the agreement mistake
benefits
Additionally
, these roles develop human
Add an article
the human
a human
ability
to interact with people
and how they should communicate, however
, losing one of them might decrease these
Change the determiner
this ability
these abilities
ability
. Confidence, for example
, is important and this
ability
is developed through a relationship between family's
Change noun form
family
member
where they can feel safe to express their feeling. Fix the agreement mistake
members
Therefore
, without the
closeness, Correct article usage
apply
a child
are not fully developing certain aspects Fix the agreement mistake
children
for
their lives.
Change preposition
of
To conclude
, the bounding between family is important because it affects children
Change noun form
children's
ability
to socialize and their relation between
other human beings. Change preposition
with
While
it might be benefit
for Replace the word
beneficial
children
from toxic family background
, the drawbacks still outweigh the benefits. Fix the agreement mistake
backgrounds
Thus
, I agree that people
should have a good relation
with their Replace the word
relationship
familiy
.Correct your spelling
family
families
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clear comprehensive ideas
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relevant specific examples
Try to include more specific examples to support your arguments. This will help make your essay more compelling and grounded.
complete response
While your essay addresses the task effectively, make sure to fully explain how the advantages and disadvantages impact families overall. Right now, some points feel incomplete.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are effective and clearly frame your argument.
logical structure
Your essay has a logical structure, with distinct paragraphs for each main point.
supported main points
You made a clear effort to balance discussion of both the advantages and disadvantages.
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