The violence portrayed on T.V and in the movies leads to an increase in crime in our society. People who watch violent movies are more likely to become criminals. Do you agree or disagree?

#violence #v #movies #crime #society #people #criminals

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There is no doubt that the increasing number of

crimes

Use synonyms

can be considered as the result of violence in

TVshows

Correct your spelling

TV shows

and movies. I suggest that consumers of

such

Linking Words

violent content have

higher

Correct article usage

a higher

show examples

possibility to

commite

Correct your spelling

commit

crimes

Use synonyms

To begin

Linking Words

with, the

habbits

Correct your spelling

habit

of observing prohibited activities on

Use synonyms

may lead to the desire

of repeating

Change preposition

to repeat

show examples

, increasing

level

Correct article usage

the level

show examples

of crime.

This

Linking Words

is because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

the natural resistance in minds not to make people suffer could be vanished by the effect of frequently watching violence on

Use synonyms

For instance

Linking Words

, there are many cases, where individuals after overloading their minds by watching

Use synonyms

lost

Wrong verb form

lose

show examples

conciousness

Correct your spelling

consciousness

and shooted people in public spaces. Alternatively, if the criminals had not observed the

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content with weapons' usage they would never have known how guns could be used.

In addition

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

commiting

Correct your spelling

committing

crimes

Use synonyms

in movies

shows

Change the verb form

show

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

spectaculars the short way to becoming rich, working as a role model for individuals who want easy money. In

Remove the article

apply

show examples

light of watching

luxury

Correct article usage

the luxury

show examples

life of some criminals in movies,

crimes

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as stealing cars or robbery could be

Change the article

show examples

attractive

sourse

Correct your spelling

source

of income for teenagers.

In contrast

Linking Words

, people not watching cases of taking by some criminals

other

Correct word choice

or other

show examples

tangibles on

Use synonyms

Verb problem

are

show examples

not aware

about

Change preposition

show examples

illigal

Correct your spelling

illegal

methods

earning

Change preposition

of earning

show examples

money. In conclusion, I suggest that pictures of

violation

Fix the agreement mistake

violations

show examples

of rights on electronic devices form

positive

Add an article

a positive

show examples

attitude

Change preposition

toward

show examples

such

Linking Words

acts in consciousness.

Moreover

Linking Words

, some viewers may believe in the light

aproach

Correct your spelling

approach

of getting money from

crimes

Use synonyms

Submitted by sergeybelov83 on Wed Jun 12 2024

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task achievement

Try to elaborate more on your points with clear and varied examples. This will provide a more complete response to the task and make your arguments stronger.

task achievement

Ensure that your ideas are fully developed and clear. For instance, when you mentioned that individuals might learn how to use guns from TV, provide a more detailed explanation or a case study to support your claim.

task achievement

Focus on the clarity and specificity of your examples. Vague examples may weaken your argument. More detailed, real-world examples will enhance the reliability of your essay.

coherence cohesion

Pay attention to the logical flow of ideas. Each paragraph should build on the previous one, leading the reader through your argument step by step.

coherence cohesion

Link your sentences and paragraphs with a variety of cohesive devices but ensure they are used naturally. This will help in creating a smoother flow and better coherence.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This organization helps in better presentation of your arguments.

task achievement

You have introduced an interesting viewpoint and provided relevant points to support your arguments. This showcases your engagement with the topic.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

242 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

desensitization
aggressive behavior
copycat phenomenon
normalize aggression
propensity
psychological impact
critical thinking
vulnerable individuals
regulatory bodies
mitigated

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The violence portrayed on T.V and in the movies leads to an increase in crime in our society. People who watch violent movies are more likely to become criminals. Do you agree or disagree?

Word Count

Some people think that newspapers are the best way to get news. However, others believe that other media are better sources of news. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to the cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing, Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In many countries, schools have severe problems with student behaviours. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discurss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to the cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing,  Do you think this is a positive or negative development?