Many schools these days have problems with poor student behavior. Why do you think these problems occur? What could be done to tackle these problems.

These days, many schools have problems with poor student behaviour.
However
, not many schools are facing
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
problem
of bad behaviour.
This
essay will look at the core reasons for
this
and propose some solid solutions. One of the main causes of the
problem
is that
parents
can not explain to their kids how to act in educational places. By
this
I mean
parents
allow them everything.
For example
, a family go to the mall and the
kid
sees the toy which he/she wants and starts to ask his/her
parents
to buy it, after the
parents
declined
Wrong verb form
decline
show examples
the proposal
child
starts behaving badly. The solution for
this
cause is to speak with your
child
and try to explain something or if he/she does not understand scold him/her. Another
problem
is that kids can have trouble with health.
That is
to say, sometimes we are facing diseases
such
as ADHD. ADHD is when your
child
is hyperactive. To tackle
this
issue, you need to get an appointment with the doctor. A third cause of the
problem
is when you have only one parent mom or dad. To be more precise, the
kid
maybe
Correct your spelling
may
show examples
have lost one of
parents
Correct pronoun usage
their parents
his parents
her parents
show examples
or both. The way forward could be to take care of
this
kid
and bring up him/her.
In other words
, adopt
this
kid
.
To sum up
, many schools are facing
this
issue,
due to
reasons
such
as
parents
cannot educate their
child
well, troubles with health and absence of parent or
parents
.
This
is a serious
problem
, and unless you won’t go to the doctor or show a
kid
that has a good upbringing, the
problem
won’t be solved.
Submitted by vladkruglovfencer on

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task achievement
Your essay does a good job of identifying key causes of poor student behavior and suggesting solutions. However, some ideas could be developed more thoroughly. For example, you mentioned health issues like ADHD but did not delve deeply into how schools or parents can manage these conditions effectively.
task achievement
There are some inconsistencies and grammatical errors, which affect the clarity of your ideas. Review your essay for grammatical errors and sentence structure. For instance, instead of 'parents can not explain to their kids,' you could say 'parents may fail to teach their children.'
coherence cohesion
Your essay generally follows a logical structure, but it could benefit from better transitions between points. This would help in making the flow of the essay smoother.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single idea and there is no overlap between points. For instance, the paragraph about ADHD could be more focused on the solutions rather than mentioning it briefly.
task achievement
The essay identifies multiple causes of poor student behavior and suggests various solutions, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main points, reinforcing the seriousness of the issue and the importance of addressing it.

Your opinion

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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