Consumers are faced with increasing numbers of advertisements from competing companies. To what extent do you think consumers are influenced by advertisements? What measures can be taken to protect them?
Advertisements
have the most tangible role in order to update the
customers about new products; Correct article usage
apply
however
, usually
individuals are extremely influenced by them negatively. Add a comma
usually,
Therefore
, some steps should be taken to tackle this
impact.
To commence with, nowadays advertisements
have become common everywhere and have
aimed specially children and teenagers. Verb problem
are
For instance
, generation Z and kids watch television programs a lot; thus
, they are exposed to commercial break
mostly. Fix the agreement mistake
breaks
As a result
, they constantly ask their parents to purchase the goods which are advertised by
TV or social media, and step by step they may become compulsive Change preposition
on
shopper
.
Fix the agreement mistake
shoppers
On the other hand
, some solutions must be applied to overcome this
challenge. The first one is pupils can be educated at schools to use their time beneficially instead
of wasting it in front of the television and its cheap advertisement
. Imagine the young children who tend to spend their time Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
on
learning musical instruments. Change preposition
apply
Consequently
, they are not exposed to advertisements
. Additionally
, the government can regulate some laws to prevent companies from over
advertisingChange preposition
apply
,
and Remove the comma
apply
also
ban advertising harmful product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
such
as alcoholic drinks. For example
, there is a huge competition among corporations which sell miscellaneous types of alcoholic drinks having
detrimental effects on mental and physical health; Wrong verb form
that have
hence
, by limiting these types of advertisement
, Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
general
public Add an article
the general
are
less interested in consuming them.
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
To sum up
, despite the fact that most of the time advertisements
cause the
people to become Correct article usage
apply
shopaholic
and make children Fix the agreement mistake
shopaholics
to
buy something that they do not need, if both governments and Change the verb form
apply
educational
system cooperate to reduce the bad effects of some Correct article usage
the educational
advertisement
, the problem will be solved easily.Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
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task achievement
Your essay generally covers all parts of the task and provides a complete response to the questions. However, there are places where your ideas could be clearer and more comprehensive. Structuring your points and examples more effectively could help.
coherence cohesion
While your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, the logical flow between points could be improved. More explicit linking between paragraphs and ideas will help maintain a coherent structure.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples and arguments, but they could be more specific and detailed to strengthen your points. Consider elaborating on your examples and how they support your main arguments more thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
Improving transitions between paragraphs and main points will enhance the cohesion of your essay. Ensure each paragraph flows logically from the previous one, which will make your argument more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Try to refine your introduction and conclusion by summarizing the main points more effectively. A strong conclusion that reinforces your argument will leave a lasting impression on the reader.
coherence cohesion
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your essay effectively.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the question and provides a complete response to the task, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
Your opinion
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