Shopping is becoming more and more popular as a leisure activity. However, some people feel that this has both positive and negative effects. Why is shopping so popular? What effects does its increase in popularity have on individuals and on society Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words

Shopping become one of the
favorite
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favourite
show examples
activities for the new generation nowadays. Society will face the advantages and disadvantages of
this
new entertainment habit in the future. in
this
essay, I want to discuss the reasons and consequences of it.
First,
to address the reasons why shopping is a beloved entertainment currently, I would like to bring your attention to the world–spread online shopping and how easy is it, With
this
type of accessibility, shopping will be more convenient and people do it more than past.
Secondly
, modern society provides various and uncountable goods that are new and exciting, so the ambition of shopping has been released.
Finally
, new shopping malls are raised every
second,
and if you have just a little free time you will prefer to spend in these fascinating places,
for example
, it is easier to go to a shopping mall in your city
center
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centre
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and have fun
instead
of planning for a trip.
Furthermore
, the impacts of shopping proliferation are not deniable. Both the community and the community members have been affected by
this
new attitude.
This
development could affect both positively and negatively. It should be noted
this
trend has increased the number of sales and profits of companies which led them to open new factories and
consequently
, the number of employees will be added.
As a result
, people get more job opportunities.
On the other hand
, people who spend all of their income
for
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on
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purchasing unnecessary items are not
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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able to invest their money and they
would
Verb problem
are
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faced with
obstacle
Fix the agreement mistake
obstacles
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in their
life
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lives
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. In conclusion, shopping currently is very popular
over
Correct determiner usage
all over
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the world and
young
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the young
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generation
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
involved with
results
Correct article usage
the results
show examples
of it
however
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society is been affected too .
Submitted by ostorr7213 on

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coherence cohesion
While your ideas are clear, try to organize them slightly better. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea and supporting details that relate directly to that idea.
task achievement
Include more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. An example from a personal experience or a more concrete example could make your points more compelling.
coherence cohesion
To improve clarity, work on sentence structure and grammar. For example, instead of the sentence 'Society will face the advantages and disadvantages of this new entertainment habit in the future,' consider 'Society will face various advantages and disadvantages as a result of this new trend in the future.'
task achievement
Your essay addresses the task effectively, discussing both reasons for the popularity of shopping and its effects on individuals and society.
coherence cohesion
The essay exhibits a logical flow, moving from reasons for shopping's popularity to its impacts. This progression helps the reader follow your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • leisure activity
  • consumer culture
  • emotional satisfaction
  • consumerism
  • advertising influence
  • online shopping platforms
  • sense of pleasure
  • social interaction
  • boost the economy
  • compulsive shopping
  • materialism
  • environmental degradation
  • unsustainable demand
  • social inequalities
  • status through possessions
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