Some people opine that entertainment or leisure activities should be subsidized by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #opine #entertainment #leisure #activities #government

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this

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modern era,most

people

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experience stressful life patterns and limited free time. It is argued that the

government

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should promote recreational

activities

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for their citizens.I completely agree with that statement

firstly

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,it develops a healthy workforce and

secondly

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, can be recognized as talented. First of all, allocating funds for pleasure

activities

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reason for generating happy mindsets. Most

people

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suffer from their hectic lifestyle and there is limited chance for entertainment .

Therefore

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, if the

government

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provide free film festivals, carnivals and

such

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entertaining

activities

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, there will be increasing numbers of

people

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who are attending these

activities

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without any second thought.

Moreover

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, they can release stressful situations and increase positive thoughts which leads to

further

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career development.

For instance

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, many researchers found individuals who have happy minds directly affect productivity.That's why leisure work is critical for our lives.

Secondly

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, the

government

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organizing national-level recreational programs creates national-level champions.

In other words

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, conducting free sports, drama singing and dancing competitions gives chances for residents display their talents.

Therefore

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, participants can identify their hidden talents

then

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they get a chance to display their names not only in their own country but

also

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globally. In these situations,

winner

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the winner

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gets the opportunity for his or her professional and personal development. To illustrate, Mrs Susanthika won the national 100m running gold meddle and Olympics Silver meddle.

Thus

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, sports programs create proud moments. In conclusion,I strongly agree that the

government

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should subsidise leisure and entertainment

activities

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because it makes

people

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more healthy and talented. It is very beneficial for the country.

Submitted by ishanisachithra3 on Wed Jan 31 2024

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coherence cohesion

While your essay covers the topic, it could be significantly improved by providing more structured and clear paragraphs. Consider using clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to introduce the main idea, followed by supporting sentences and a concluding sentence that links back to the essay's overall thesis.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that the introduction clearly presents the topic and your position, and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main points made throughout the essay. The introduction and conclusion need to be more distinct and focused.

task achievement

To enhance task achievement, work on developing comprehensive and deeply analyzed main ideas rather than presenting a list of loosely related ideas. Address the essay prompt directly and ensure your opinion is unmistakable throughout the essay.

task achievement

Your essay contains some examples, but they could be more specific and directly linked to the argument you are trying to make. Work on providing clear and detailed examples that support your position.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

252 words

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