IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people think history has little or nothing to offer, while others say the study of the past helps us understand the present. Discuss both the viewpoints and give your opinion.

#people #history #offer #study #viewpoints
There is an intensive debate about the value of historical studies in educational institutions.
Lots of
Correct word choice
Many
show examples
 individuals believe that there is not a real interest
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
this
 subject;
however
, an
another
Replace the adjective
other
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 scholars discuss that the study of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
previous accidents may help us to understand the current world today .
Although
 the
later
Correct your spelling
latter
show examples
 opinion is logical, l totally agree with the first group.
Submitted by mohammedelhassan811 on

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task achievement
Try to provide more balanced details for both viewpoints. Each argument should be explored thoroughly.
task achievement
Support your main points with specific examples or evidence. This will make your essay more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on a clear and concise introductory statement. This will ensure your reader knows your standpoint right from the beginning.
coherence cohesion
Concluding statements should summarize your main points and restate your position clearly.
task achievement
The essay topic is explicitly stated in the introduction, which gives a clear direction of the discussion.
task achievement
There is an effort to discuss both viewpoints, showing an understanding of the question's requirements.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • anachronistic
  • cultural heritage
  • perspective
  • historical context
  • societal norms
  • contemporary
  • evolution
  • progress
  • modern advancements
  • conflicts
  • tensions
  • academic
  • practical skills
  • subjective
  • victors
  • marginalized groups
  • dwelling on the past
  • irrelevant
What to do next:
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