People are not excercising regularly, even though they know it is beneficial for their health. Why is this a problem? What can be done to tackle it? Give reasons for your answers and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Despite the physical and psychological benefits that
exercise
can bring, citizens are not doing physical activities on a regular basis. The essay with detail the issues of this
type of practice along with
measures that can be taken to encourage a more active and healthier lifestyle.
There are a multitude of problems that can arise when someone does not do regular exercise
. First of all, a sedentary lifestyle has been shown to increase the likelihood of heart Emblems, particularly for the elderly. The heart is a muscle and needs to t›e
exercised through aerobic activities Correct your spelling
be
such
as brisk walking, running or swimming. Failure to do so will result in an impaired circulatory system. In addition
, unhealthy mental emotions such
as feeling lethargic or depressed can, to some extent, be overcome with exercise
even if it is only for a few minutes a day.
Education and funding are the keys to having a more active population. In my country
physical education at school is usually neglected in the curriculum and underfunded. If more resources and value were given to Add a comma
country,
this
subject, school children would grow up with the
awareness of the positive benefits of Correct article usage
an
exercise
. 5imilarly, the government and legal authorides
should fund and promote initiatives that encourage more people to Correct your spelling
authorities
exercise
such
as venues for senior citizens where they can socialize and do physical activities.
In conclusion, the inactive lifestyle that many people live today results in physical and mental health issues. Educating citizens, starting at school, about the benefits of exercise
along with
providing the funds to provide facilities are a few of the possible solutions.Submitted by ahmed_berry310eg on
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task achievement
While the essay provides a complete response to the prompt, including clear ideas and relevant examples can enhance your argument. Try to include specific statistics or real-life examples to bolster your points.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences and phrases could be made clearer. For instance, 'heart Emblems' seems to be a typo, likely meant to be 'heart problems'. Ensure you proofread to catch these small errors that can affect coherence.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a good structure but could be improved with better transitions between points. Using cohesive devices like 'Moreover,' 'Furthermore,' and 'In addition to' can help with this.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a strong introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the central argument and summarizing the key points.
task achievement
The ideas presented are relevant and tackle the prompt directly. This shows a clear understanding of the topic.
task achievement
You provided a well-rounded analysis by addressing both problems and solutions, showing a balanced viewpoint.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite