Nowadays, when popular consumer products sell well, it is not because of societal requirements but because of advertising's influence. To what extend do you agree or disagree ?
In current days
people
says
that Change the verb form
say
influence
of Correct article usage
the influence
adversiting
some Correct your spelling
advertising
products
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
motive
to sell Correct pronoun usage
our motive
products
instead
of demand of
Change preposition
for
this
product, I agree with that because actually
Add a comma
actually,
people
buy products
more to instinct than necessity.
Firstly
, There are reason
to Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
people
buy products
when they do not need it
, our mind works Correct pronoun usage
them
different
Change the adjective
differently
that
we think. Most consumers are hypnotized by marketing campaigns and the companies spend a lot of money to research and Correct word choice
than
discovered
how they can sell more and more based Wrong verb form
discover
in
our wishes. Our mindset is programmed since we Change preposition
on
has
been Change the verb form
have
Add an article
a child
child
to compare material Fix the agreement mistake
children
thinks
or to be Correct your spelling
things
how
Correct word choice
like
others person
that we have Fix the agreement mistake
other people
been
admired. Unnecessary verb
apply
For
example
buyers always can the same clothes or jewels Add a comma
example,
like
a famous celebrity, Change preposition
as
furthermore
, buy a specific technology such
as a mobile phone while
a new model Correct word choice
when
have
been launched.
Change the verb form
has
On the other hand
, there are some products
in marketplace
with remarkable sales only because Add an article
the marketplace
quality
production or usability, and it Change preposition
of quality
occurs
usually with new Verb problem
apply
products
, as soon as it
Correct pronoun usage
they
became
famous, probably the industry will invest in massive and large marketing campaigns.
In conclusion, Wrong verb form
become
although
there are some products
that have surging
only based on awesome characteristics, In my Wrong verb form
surged
opnion
, our minds are easily influenced by marketing and by other Correct your spelling
opinion
people
, it is a tendency to copy or show that we can buy moreover
a way to show power, and it far outweigh
whatever good specification of Change the verb form
outweighs
products
.Submitted by lucianocamilot on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Your essay does well in responding to the task, but there are areas to improve for a higher score. Your thesis statement is clear, but it could be more assertive. Work on providing more specific and varied examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, try to ensure that each paragraph flows smoothly from one to the next. Use transitional phrases more effectively to connect your ideas and make them easier to follow. Additionally, pay attention to the logical progression of your arguments.
supported main points
Ensure that your main points are consistently supported with sufficient detail and evidence. Develop each idea fully before moving to the next point, and make sure your examples are more specific and directly tied to your arguments.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly states your position and the conclusion effectively summarizes your viewpoints.
logical structure
Your essay has a clear structure with defined paragraphs. This helps the reader understand your main points.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.