IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people think that news media affects people in negative ways but others disagree and say that it is also positive. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #news #media
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It is believed that
news
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media
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 adversely affects people,
whereas
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 some argue that it
also
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 has benefits.
This
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 writer is inclined toward the second view because it informs them of current affairs, aside from the risk of privacy invasion by gutter presses and misleading
information
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 from unverified sources. Central to
this
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 issue is the invasion of privacy coming from the
media
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.
This
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 is particularly attributed to gutter presses that want to make money from activities that involve posting personal
information
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 of people on newspaper and social
media
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 platforms.
As a result
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, web surfers whose personal data is exploited will suffer from unscrupulous actions by the public ranging from abusive comments or stalking to deepfaking.
This
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 is evident in many countries where the private lives of celebrities are always disturbed by
media
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 tycoons who do not even have any awareness about privacy. Another negative aspect worth considering is inaccurate data provided by untrustworthy sources. The purpose of these
news
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 providers is usually to make an easy profit from chequebook journalism or to create internal conflicts inside the government. Combined with the fact that these unreal stories have subtle differences from real ones, members of the public will often believe in them.
Consequently
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,
this
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 will lead to mass misunderstanding among the public about the true
information
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.
For example
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, in many countries, citizens are confused about believing in their government as an effect of invalid
news
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 providers.
This
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 writer believes that aside from the mentioned drawbacks,
news
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media
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also
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 benefits the public with current affairs. It is evident that
news
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 is partly a form of transmitting
information
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 in a huge area with up-to-date
information
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 nationwide or worldwide. Acknowledging
this
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, internet users will be able to know what is happening at the moment. The proof is easily seen in the way of using the
media
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 to receive the latest notices from their authorities. In conclusion,
although
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 people are at risk of receiving false
news
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 and being privately discriminated against, they can
also
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 enjoy the instant benefits of being acknowledged each second.
Therefore
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,
this
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 author contends that
news
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media
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 has both positive and negative impacts on the public.

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task achievement
In the introduction, you should clearly state both perspectives and your opinion in a more structured manner. This would provide a clearer roadmap for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Consider using transition words like 'Moreover' or 'Furthermore' to add cohesion.
task achievement
Expand on your examples and provide specific instances to support your points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay structure is clear and easy to follow, which helps the reader understand your arguments.
task achievement
You presented both sides of the argument fairly before stating your opinion, which is a strong way to achieve a balanced discussion.
task achievement
The language used is precise and formal, suitable for an academic essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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