countries with a long average working day are likely to be more economically successful than other countries, but may suffer same negative social-consequences as a result. what extent do you agree or disagree?

Opinions vary regarding whether prolonged working

hours

contribute positively to a nation's economic prosperity. Many contend that countries with extended workdays encounter multifaceted challenges stemming from

this

practice. I wholeheartedly align with

this

perspective. Undoubtedly, extended

work

hours

can bolster a nation's economic wealth.

Such

protracted

hours

often lead to a heightened focus within industrial systems, thereby optimizing their efficiency.

Consequently

this

optimization tends to substantially enhance a nation's financial prowess, thereby significantly elevating citizens'

overall

quality of life. Take Japan and South Korea as prime examples, where a culture of long

work

hours

has propelled both economies to become global powerhouses. Without

this

dedication to prolonged

work

hours

, their economic robustness would not be as pronounced as it is today.

Nevertheless

, these purported benefits are not without their drawbacks. Prolonged

work

hours

can have adverse effects on workers' mental well-being

due to

heightened stress and pressure.

Consequently

this

may lead to diminished productivity and instability within the country's economic framework. Japan serves as a poignant case in point, where the relentless demands of the workplace have contributed to alarming rates of stress-related illnesses among its workforce, leading to significant societal implications. In conclusion,

while

harnessing the full potential of a workforce through prolonged

work

hours

can undoubtedly yield economic advantages, it is imperative to recognize and address the associated challenges. Achieving a balanced approach that prioritizes both economic prosperity and the well-being of workers is essential for sustainable growth and societal harmony.

Submitted by [email protected] on Thu Jun 13 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph smoothly transitions to the next to enhance the overall coherence. For instance, linking the drawbacks of prolonged work hours in the second paragraph to their implications in the third paragraph could create a more seamless flow.

task achievement

You have identified and discussed the key points effectively, but consider briefly acknowledging counterarguments to add depth to your analysis. For instance, you might mention arguments made by proponents of longer working hours and then refute them with your evidence.

task achievement

Your introduction is clear and directly addresses the essay question, setting up your argument effectively.

task achievement

Your use of specific examples like Japan and South Korea is excellent; these instances substantiate your points well.

coherence cohesion

Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay and restates the importance of balancing economic success with worker well-being.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

243 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

7.5

Logical structure

8.5

Introduction & conclusion present

8.5

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

8.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

8.5

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

8
band
Topic: Some people say that poor students or students who come from rural areas often find it difficult to have access to university education. What should be done to solve this problem? 250 words.
Currently, in the world, there are so many students whose talents are incredible but are hindered just by their state. Rural affects a lot of people, and to solve this problem, I have come up with some solutions.
5.5
band
First impressions are highly important. So, some people think that doing well in interviews is the key to securing a good job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
The importance of first impressions in professional settings cannot be overstated, particularly when seeking employment opportunities. Many believe that excelling in job interviews is the key to landing a suitable job. I agree with this view and in the following paragrapahs I will explain why.
4.5
band
You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter Say why he/she would not enjoy going to college Explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her Suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her
I hope this letter finds you well. I recently received your letter and understood that you are confused about whether to go to college or enter the job market. And I had thought about it , therefore I wanted to share my advice . I believe getting a job might be the best choice for you right now and I would explain why.
6.5
band
Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What is your opinion?
In today's world, there is a heavy debate about all human beings are born equal and hence every male and female are capable of doing the same work, while others disagree with this statement saying there are some areas in which female genders cannot work. This is because of the strength difference in the body and the nature of the job they work in.
5
band
Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reasons for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages?”
Nowadays, a number of people prefer to spend their lives close to their home town, rather than moving somewhere. There is one main reason for that, which is not going out of your comfort zone. Firstly, action like leaving your comfort zone is hard to do physically, as well as mentally. For instance, the enormous number of individuals, do not want to leave their familiar places, in light of the fact that of fear. It leads to uncompleted dreams and achievements, such as studying at a top-notch university or applying for a well-paid job in another country or city. Also, it can happen, owing to a lack of resources or opportunities elsewhere, as well as financial constraints. This can cause an unsatisfied feeling during your whole life, and it is going to be only, due to lack of strength. Furthermore, you not only need to be brave, but educated abundance and have great skills for moving abroad. Secondly, a sense of belonging will not exist for you for an extremely long period, it may eve...

countries with a long average working day are likely to be more economically successful than other countries, but may suffer same negative social-consequences as a result. what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Topic: Some people say that poor students or students who come from rural areas often find it difficult to have access to university education. What should be done to solve this problem? 250 words.

First impressions are highly important. So, some people think that doing well in interviews is the key to securing a good job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What is your opinion?

Some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reasons for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages?”